His Mercies...

"Because of the LORD's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!" Lamentations 3:22-23 PTL (Praise The Lord) that He has new mercies every morning. Every so often, I "have problems" with God. I go to Him demanding answers for things that don't make sense. I want Him to make everything clear and lay everything out right now. I want to know where I'm going, how I'm gonna get there and how long it's gonna take me to get there... Too bad God doesn't work like that. Lately, He's been telling me, "Let go, trust me. Let me be in control." And, being the nice, mature, "Christian" girl that I am, I give God this kind of reaction:

Yup, I fold my arms, and I stomp my foot; I stick out my lip and complain. "But Goooodd, that's not the answer I want! I want you to give me answers NOW." I leave His side angry. And He whispers in my ear:

"Come talk to me."

My oh-so-grown up response? "NO." So, being the loving God that He is, He sends friends, "Hey, I noticed you're upset, maybe you should go talk to God." My response? "NO!" But, God still persists:

"Come talk to me."

I was talking to my best friend tonight and He asked me why I hadn't talked to God and told Him everything that was bothering. I told Him it was because I already knew what answer He was going to give me, and I didn't like it. My friend proceeded to tell me that I needed to be willing to take God's response, because ultimately He knows what's best. I told him, "I know... I'll talk to Him... eventually." My buddy responded quite simply, "when?" I told him that God and I tend to have a battle of wills, and of course... we know who wins. After more discussion, I went to talk to God.

"His mercies never end. They are new every morning..."

After pulling out my bible, my sharpies and my journal, I put on my music. I was just telling God how I just wanted to know that I'm not alone. I wanted to know that He was near me, that He loved me. I wanted to know that He cares" The song "Because You're Mine" by Building 429 came on, and it was totally what I needed to hear.

You would give it all to know the answers
And I know you’ve heard this all before
I’m just here to help your heart remember
That NO ONE else could ever love you more
So today I promise *forever*
Tomorrow, I’ll say it all again
You ought to know that I am here
You ought to know I’ll be here
To love you Just to love you
Through all the pain and through the years
I’ll be the one to dry your tears
I love you, I love you
Because you’re mine

Even though I had been a brat, God still cared about me and still answered my desperate heart cry "I just want to know you're here!" Somehow, it didn't bother Him that I had been intentionally ignoring Him, He was ready for me to come back with open arms. As I was writing the lyrics to this song in my journal, something stuck out to me:

So don’t you ever doubt
You are my precious child
My glory in the making
The years will bring you many trials
But I will never let you down

"Because of the LORD's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!"