History Maker

Get Real!

2011-11-22T12:05:00.001-07:00

"Oh great Father who abideth in heaven. We approach thee today to appeal thee. That thee would pour out your vast riches upon thine lowly people..." Hold it, CUT! Who the heck talks like that? Nobody does. We left that kind of speech behind a looong time ago. How would you react if someone came up to you and started talking like that? "Salutations, Eden, how art thou today? How goeth your homework? Wouldst thought like to join me for supper in the evening?" You would be confused and wonder what happened to your friend, because that's not normal. Yet, sometimes, we think we need to talk to God like that. We think that in order to approach God we need to be formal about it. We act as if we don't know Him.

I was talking to God the other day and I decided to really scale it back. Instead of praying the usual, "God, lookout for family and my best friend..." And launching into my everyday formal prayer, I decided to try something different. I started with "God, do you love me?" I technically knew the answer to that question, but I wanted to hear Him say it. I had been having a hard time believing it and I wanted Him to confirm His love for me. He responded, "Of course I do, baby girl. I love you so much." I launched into conversation with Him, asking questions and just... talking to Him. Seriously, just talking to Him, exactly how I would talk with my best friend. At the end, I did pray for my family, but it sounded more like this, "You've got them, right God?" There's something special about just being real with God. Just conversing with Him and being real. Not addressing Him in this extremely complicated way of speaking that we would never use anywhere else.

He really just wants us to GET REAl!

Active Trust

2011-11-15T20:14:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine said something today that got me thinking. She talked about active trust. She was speaking specifically about finances. Asking God for provision for money, but being willing to do something to get it. She explained how that could be something as simple as applying for a loan if that was the kind of provision God chose to give her. She said she wanted to be actively involved in His miracle. "I want Him involved and I want to be engaged with His process of provision."

What an interesting thought. Definitely not something I'm used to hearing. Sure, we talk about trusting God all the time. However, usually we think that means sitting on our hands doing nothing. We kind of get lazy and sit back going "Ok God, do something." Unfortunately, this can simply be poorly masked Laziness. I like how my friend put it "God wants us to be engaged in the processes of His provision and miracles."

This isn't to say that God asks for action every time. Sometimes He does ask us to sit down, shut up and trust. But, I think that he also delights in engaging us in the process. Definitely something to think about. Thoughts?

Dreaming of New Things

2011-11-14T20:17:00.001-07:00

Hey all! It's been a while hasn't it? I've been busy, and I've been learning a lot.However, not all the lessons have been easy, and some have been painful. God and I have been talking a LOT lately. I've been asking Him questions and talking to Him about a bunch of different things, and something I keep coming back to is one of His promises.

In October, I went to a camp with Ignite. I remember begging God to show up. I had been having a hard time connecting with Him. I told Him, very simply you have to show up, or I don't know what I'm going to do. Being God, and being awesome He did. And when He did, He gave me a promise. "So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead...." ~1st Peter 1:6

This made me really excited. "What's ahead God? What are you bringing my way?" Over the next few days, He continued to confirm that. " For I am about to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home. I will create rivers for them in the desert!" (Isaiah 43:19) And again in Isaiah 48:6b-8a " Now I will tell you new things I have not mentioned before, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past...Yes, I will tell you of things that are entirely new."

Time went on, and I forgot about the promise. I got discouraged and sometimes caught myself wondering where He was. Then tonight, God brought me back to his promise. Mike talked about Habakkuk 1:5 "The LORD replied, Look at the nations and be amazed! Watch and be astounded at what I will do! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."

All of a sudden my mind went back, remembering the promise God gave to me. That's right, He promised me something new. Then Mike started talking about how God had such huge plans for Habakkuk, that if He told him, Habakkuk wouldn't be able to believe it. Mike asked who had visions and dreams that God had given them. He asked "If you could do anything in the world for God and money was no object, what would you do?" He asked for the crazy, wild dreams, the ones that didn't make sense. No dream was crushed, no dream was deemed impossible because God has promised greater things than we could ever imagine.

I've got dreams. I want to go back to the Dominican Republic and change it. I want to create jobs for the people that live in the dump so they don't have to dig for trash anymore. I want to bring revival to the D.R. The Country has a bible on their flag for crying out loud.

Close up of the Crest

I'm looking forward to the new. I'm dreaming again, waiting to see what God has for me. Maybe you, like me have been having a rough time. Maybe you can't see an end to the questions and the frustration. I encourage you to hang in there. Look for the new, because God is going to do something new in and through you . And don't be afraid to dream again.

His Mercies...

2011-09-25T20:55:00.000-06:00

"Because of the LORD's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!" Lamentations 3:22-23PTL (Praise The Lord) that He has new mercies every morning. Every so often, I "have problems" with God. I go to Him demanding answers for things that don't make sense. I want Him to make everything clear and lay everything out right now. I want to know where I'm going, how I'm gonna get there and how long it's gonna take me to get there... Too bad God doesn't work like that. Lately, He's been telling me, "Let go, trust me. Let me be in control." And, being the nice, mature, "Christian" girl that I am, I give God this kind of reaction:

Yup, I fold my arms, and I stomp my foot; I stick out my lip and complain. "But Goooodd, that's not the answer I want! I want you to give me answers NOW." I leave His side angry. And He whispers in my ear:

"Come talk to me."

My oh-so-grown up response? "NO." So, being the loving God that He is, He sends friends, "Hey, I noticed you're upset, maybe you should go talk to God." My response? "NO!" But, God still persists:

"Come talk to me."

I was talking to my best friend tonight and He asked me why I hadn't talked to God and told Him everything that was bothering. I told Him it was because I already knew what answer He was going to give me, and I didn't like it. My friend proceeded to tell me that I needed to be willing to take God's response, because ultimately He knows what's best. I told him, "I know... I'll talk to Him... eventually." My buddy responded quite simply, "when?" I told him that God and I tend to have a battle of wills, and of course... we know who wins. After more discussion, I went to talk to God.

"His mercies never end. They are new every morning..."

After pulling out my bible, my sharpies and my journal, I put on my music. I was just telling God how I just wanted to know that I'm not alone. I wanted to know that He was near me, that He loved me. I wanted to know that He cares" The song "Because You're Mine" by Building 429 came on, and it was totally what I needed to hear.

You would give it all to know the answers
And I know you’ve heard this all before
I’m just here to help your heart remember
That NO ONE else could ever love you more
So today I promise *forever*
Tomorrow, I’ll say it all again
You ought to know that I am here
You ought to know I’ll be here
To love you Just to love you
Through all the pain and through the years
I’ll be the one to dry your tears
I love you, I love you
Because you’re mine

Even though I had been a brat, God still cared about me and still answered my desperate heart cry "I just want to know you're here!" Somehow, it didn't bother Him that I had been intentionally ignoring Him, He was ready for me to come back with open arms. As I was writing the lyrics to this song in my journal, something stuck out to me:

So don’t you ever doubt
You are my precious child
My glory in the making
The years will bring you many trials
But I will never let you down

"Because of the LORD's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!"

Silence

2011-07-28T20:21:00.000-06:00

Texting, Facebook, Phone Calls, Skype, Friends, Books, Video games, Ipods, voices, noise.......

I recently had a cabin full of girls, several of which were preteens. At least two of them told me they were going absolutely crazy without their phones. I proceeded to talk to them about the value of "unplugging," silencing the many voices going on around us in order to hear the voice of God.

I have discovered this week, that I have a really hard time with silence. I have to constantly be moving, doing something, or I get bored. Sitting still and being truly silent is really hard for me. If I take time to mute the phone, turn off the ipod and close the laptop, I find my mind wandering. I'm a multitasker, so my mind can literally zoom through probably 20 different topics in the space of 60 seconds. I struggle to sit and just listen to the voice of God. However, I have found that when I do sit and listen, He loves to talk to me. He will reignite my passions, remind me of His promises and encourage me when I'm having a really bad day. The cool thing is, it doesn't take very long, in the space of 30 seconds of listening to a song, I can have new energy and new excitement. In taking 10 or 15 minutes to get into His word, I can hear from Him and be encouraged.

I'm certainly not discounting long amounts of quality time with Him, but for me, being extremely busy and extremely active, I'm discovering the beauty and the joy in the capture moments of silence

Further In

2011-04-17T01:58:00.000-06:00

I went to the beach today. =)

Something I'm continually saying is "I LOVE the beach." Something about the sun and the water, the breeze and the waves, just absolutely enthralls me. I love jumping in the water and getting used to how cold it is. I love the feeling of triumph when I successfully swim under a wave and feel it break over me. I love feeling the awesome power of the ocean as I get knocked over by a wave.I love staring out over the water and seeing that it just keeps going and going and going. Of course, it doesn't hurt that God talks to me a LOT when I'm at the beach. I can just feel His presence and His love in a way that I don't experience anywhere else.

He's always telling me how much He loves me, calling me attention to the fact that the water is endless as is His love. The warm sunshine on my face repeats the same message,"I love you."

Today, like any other beach day, God spoke to me through the beach. When I go to the beach, I have to get in the water it's like a must. If I haven't gotten in the water, I haven't been to the beach. I always start out at the edge, trying to get used to the crazy coldness of the water. But, as my feet get used to it, and I see the waves crashing, I start heading towards them, getting excited. As I play in the little waves, I want to go further out, deeper into the water, into the bigger waves where it's more fun. Slowly, slowly, little by little, I found myself going further in, getting deeeper and deeper in the water. I absolutely love it.

Today, as I ventured further out to encounter bigger waves and bigger adventures, God was whispering in my ear. Just like I want to go further into the water because I am enthralled by it, so I should want to go further in my relationship with Him. I want to be passionate about the things of Him, and passionate of going deeper and farther. I want to follow His call and encounter the big adventures He has for me. As I encounter His greatness, the more I want to experience it and submerge myself in it. Chasing after Him is the adventure of a lifetime, and I absolutely love it :)

Because He longs to Bless/Thankful Hearts

2011-04-01T22:44:00.000-06:00

About a week ago, I was on the verge of a meltdown, I was stressed about a lot of things, and feeling kind of down on myself for being stressed. I felt like I was just being silly and needed to get over it, so I kind of drew into myself, not really letting people know how I felt. Dropping hints here and there, but overall, keeping it quiet. Until, one day it all came out in a rush. I was in a bad mood and my poor friend got caught in the verbal downpour. He handled it well though, told me to look at the good things I had and be thankful. He also told me to remember that God loves me and He knows exactly what's going on. I guess what he was basically saying was stop feeling sorry for yourself, look at the good, and trust God.(only, he was a bit more tactful) and you know what? It snapped me right out of my crazy mood.

I decided to stop looking at the waves and to start trusting God. To be thankful for all the good things I have, and it worked. Today in my devoes, I found the perfect verse to go along with this. Psalm 50:14-15 "Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High. Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.” It says to start with thankfulness and then call upon Him for help. I think starting with thanking Him is huge. Because, as you start thanking Him for who He is, you start remembering what He has done. You realize that just maybe God is bigger than the problem you're facing. And He loves to bless. So, I finally surrendered and decided to just let Him handle things. Nothing's really been resolved, but I'm not worried anymore, I'm enjoying the fact that He knows what He's doing.

And, I've been asking Him to give me reminders that He loves me. Today, was one such day. A group of us went to the beach and it was absolutely perfect. The sun was shining, but it wasn't too hot, the breeze was blowing, but it wasn't too cold. The water was beautifully blue, there was wave upon wave upon wave upon wave of awesomness to play in, and my Ignite buddies were there. We had so much fun just hanging out and talking and enjoying God's creation. And the whole time we were there, God was whispering in my ear "I love you, I love you, I love you." Come back to campus, and my friend approaches me and out of the blue gives me a compliment that totally made me smile. And, my phone charger broke yesterday and was slightly upset about how much money it would take to get a replacement. Crazy awesome thing is my friend "just happened" to have the charger that would fit my phone, he wasn't using it and gave it to me.

So, I dare you, be thankful for what God has given you. Remember that He loves you. Trust Him, and then, ask Him to show you His love. I can guarantee you He will, beyond your wildest dreams, because He is a God who longs to bless :)

Hope

2011-03-13T23:12:00.000-06:00

Close your eyes.
What do you see?
Do you see the faint light in the distance? So small, you can barely see it.
It's only a glimmer, it barely pierces the darkness... And yet, it's there.
Move towards the light. Run to it.
Darkness can't last forever....

Letter from God

2011-03-05T11:15:00.000-07:00

A little while ago, I thought it would be pretty awesome if God wrote a letter to me. If He simply talked to me and told me what he though about me. This is the result of that. I hope it speaks to your heart, like it did mine...

Good morning Beautiful,
How ya doin today? Are you enjoying life? Are things going well for you? Or is it a rough day? Maybe you're having a hard time smiling. No matter what's going on, I want to hear about it. Tell me how you're doing. I want to hear about everything. What makes you smile, what makes you cry. Because I care for you. I love you. It doesn't matter what you tell me, whether someone close to you died, or you broke a nail. I will listen and care about you. Tell me about your dreams, about your fears. Did you know? Your dreams are my dreams, and I can take away your fears. Are you scared? Are you tired? Are you lost? Run to me, I will keep you safe, I'll wrap you in my arms. Do you realize how beautiful you are to me? Do you know that I'm proud of you? I care for you. I see all the crevices in your heart, even the places in shadow, the places you've forgotten, or wish you could forget. I know those places and I can heal you. So, I ask again, how are you? Come talk to me. I'm never too busy to talk,and I'm always happy to see you. Come talk to me, precious one. I'm waiting. =)

Growing Up

2011-03-04T20:39:00.002-07:00

As Children, we look forward to growing up. We talk about turning 10 and starting into the wonderful land of double digits; 14 and high school; 16 getting a permit and possibly starting dating; 18 going to college and moving out; 21 becoming an adult. We eagerly look forward to our next birthday. We want to grow up.

Then we actually turn 18, we go to college. We start realizing that we're responsible for our lives. We discover that, essentially, no one can tell us what to do. We decide when we go to bed, we decided when we get up. We decide when we do homework and we decide when we hang out with friends. We're charge of our own schedules. We realize some scary things too, it's our fault if we forget to set our alarm and we're late for class. It's our fault if we can't stay awake in class because we decided to stay up too late hanging with our friends. Suddenly, Mommy and Daddy aren't there to help us every time something goes wrong. Because Mommy and Daddy aren't even in the same state.

Growing up is a scary thing....

Yet, there's something freeing about growing up. Learning to take responsibility and knowing that our successes are truly ours. We learn to step into adulthood and there's something really exciting about that. Maybe it's because we finally discover who we are. We learn that "cool" is overrated. We start realizing that as kids, we took ourselves too seriously, tried too hard to be "grown up." We start realizing the magic of innocence. We start realizing, that being a kid is a good thing.

So we start doing crazy things like pushing each other around in shopping carts, playing at the park, coloring in coloring books, going to the pet store, ordering kid's meals and actually playing with the toys, playing dress up, putting glow in the dark stars on our ceiling, and buying Disney themed items... We sound like children don't we?

As you live life, don't take yourself too seriously, don't worry about being "cool" enjoy "little kid" stuff, and don't be afraid to be be yourself You'll grow up soon enough.... But, right now, just be you because who you are right now, is pretty darn amazing.

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

A girl's heart cry for love... A desperate longing to feel special. Part of Rihanna's song ringing true, she desperately longs to feel like "the only girl in the world." She longs to feel special to someone. She doesn't want to be special "just like everyone else." She longs to be unique, loved for who she is. She longs to be held and feel safe....

Bitterness and pain arise, whether it's because she's been through a breakup, or has never had a guy on Valentine's day. She Hates it now, she hates the memories it brings up, she hates the days she finds herself alone. She hates watching her friends enjoy their relationship. "If only someone would love me like that." She doesn't know that she is loved, deeply.

That He thinks she is beautiful. He's captivated by her eyes, enchanted by her smile, loves everything about her. She is so special to Him. So special. He knows her, he hears the lonely, desperate cries of her heart, and He care. And He's knocking, knocking at the doors of her heart. He longs to wrap her in His arms, tell her that she's beautiful. He wants her to know that He wildly loves her. When she cries, He cries. What matters to her, matters to Him. Her hopes are His hopes. Her dreams are His dreams. And her fears? He longs to take them all away. He longs to hold her lose, stroke her hair and tell her it's gonna be okay. Because, He LOVES her, so very, very much, and He will be her valentine....

Because, He L<3VES you.

Beautiful

2011-01-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

Little girl, 14 flipping through a magazine
says she wants to look that way.
But her hair isn't straight, her body isn't fake
and she's always felt overweight....

A little while ago, I walked by a mirror and looked at myself for a minute. Hey, my hair doesn't look too bad today... In fact it even looks good. Actually, you know what? I look pretty good today.

Then I really started thinking. Who decided what beautiful is? Why, when flipping through a magazine, are all the models white, have perfect skin and ridiculously skinny? Who decided that a girl is only beautiful when she's wearing makeup and everything about her is "perfect"? Why are lies of what is "beautiful" so easily spread?

Fact is, God created girls, all girls beautiful. Every single one of 'em. Life isn't a beauty competition. Cuz, if it were, no one would win. Girls on billboards are so photo shopped they look nothing like their original selves. Oh, and Barbie with her prized skinny, yet curvy body? In order to get all her proportions right, she'd have to be seven feet tall. Maybe she'd be "pretty" but she'd also be a freak.

Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Probably the coolest thing is how God sees girls.
Tomorrow she'll be turning 17
But somehow now the mirror has become her enemy
Feelin like she'll never measure up
Feelin like she'll never be enough

In her Father's eyes, he is taken by her beauty
And captivated by her every time
In her Father's eyes, he is longing just to tell her
She's never been more lovely in her life

God created girls. We're beautiful. If we defy that, we call God a liar when He looked at all that He had made and saw that it was good. God doesn't create ugly people. Check out
Song of Songs 4:1a, "How beautiful you are my darling, oh how beautiful." 7 "You are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you." 9 "You have stolen my heart, my treasure, my bride..."

girl, you're amazing, just the way you are.

Father's Eyes

2011-01-04T11:15:00.002-07:00

Tomorrow she'll be turning 17
But somehow now the mirror has become her enemy
Feelin like she'll never measure up
Feelin like she'll never be enough

In her Father's Eyes, He is taken by her beauty
And captivated by her every time
In her Father's eyes, He is longing just to tell her
She's never been more lovely in her life
If only she could see herself one time
In her Father's eyes

He's on the edge of giving up tonight
He's feelin like he's wasted the best days of his life
Afraid he'll never be the man he thought that he could be
When he looks inside he's so ashamed of who he sees

But in his Father's eyes he is a son of glory
The image of a strong and mighty king
In his Father's eyes, there's more left in the story
He's fighting hard to hold back tears of pride

If only he could see himself tonight
In his Father's eyes

So no matter where you are
And no matter what you've done
You're not alone
You're not alone

And no matter where you've been
And no matter where you're from
Come back home
Come back home

'Cos in your Father's eyes, you're loved with such abandon
He's running to you now arms open wide
In your Father's eyes, you're safe and you're accepted
There's nothing you can do to change His mind
If only you could see yourself one time
If only you could see yourself one time
In your Father's eyes
In your Father's eyes

Hold Your Breath

2010-12-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love Christmas Eve. Arguably, I like it more than Christmas. There's something about the excitement and anticipation that I just love. Everyone goes to bed just waiting for Christmas morning, they have such a hard time sleeping, because they know come morning, they'll get to open awesome presents. You can just feel the tension in the air as every waits with baited breath for Christmas.

My mind goes back to a night just over 2000 years ago. A night where the world was holding its breath. The angels sang and the shepherds and the wise men were making their way to Bethlehem. A tired and weary world was just waiting for a savior.

How many times are we told "Don't hold your breath."? So many times hope is crushed. It's like there's nothing left to believe in. But, Christmas Eve is all about hope. DO hold your breath, because tomorrow. Something awesome is gonna happen :D

The Point

2010-12-10T19:14:00.000-07:00

Over the semester, God has been working in my heart. Changing wrong thinking and revealing more of His heart. It seems that the theme for this semester could be narrowed down to one, simple word: Love. Loving God, Loving people, God's crazy love for me, His crazy love for other people...

Before I came to Ignite, I saw missions as a goal. The people I evangelized to were projects. In one of our classes, we had 3 evangelism projects. For the first 2, I felt like a failure. I felt I had made a fool out of myself and neither person accepted Jesus. For the third project, I had to talk to a total stranger. I ended up talking to a guy who had just converted to Catholocism. However, through the conversation, I got to hear about his conversion. I discovered that he had really had an encounter with Jesus. In that conversation, he didn't say the sinner's prayer, nor did he decide to be a Christian. Yet, I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. I felt like the conversation had been succesful, because, if anything, it was confirmation of God's love for this guy.

As I thought about this, it hit me: The point of evangelism, especially on the first encounter, isn't necessarily to get them saved. The point is to love on people.

As you may or may not know, I have been in Kansas City for the past week. We volunteered at multiple places, the River of Refuge being one of them. They have a soup kitchen, and a church in Kansas City. The story behind that is in incredible. Jon Wiley, the pastor in charge of The River got together a team of people and he told them they could start a church... under one condition. Before they opened up a church, they had to live in that community and love on them and earn the right to open up a church. Before they held one worship service, before they held one prayer meeting, or one bible study; they had to live among the people and earn the right to preach.

This makes sense. This is the point: to LOVE people. Are we concerned for their souls? Yes Do we want them to go to heaven? Absolutely. But, when we see people as projects, we defeat the purpose. I can't door to door sell my Jesus. People will treat me like a telemarketer: thanks not intersted, good bye. I have to earn the right to preach. People want to know that I care about them, not that I'm out to convert them. I once heard my pastor ask this question, "If you knew that the person you're trying to convert would never convert, would you still be friends with, and talk to that person?" People are not a mission. People are not a project. People need to be loved, before I ever try to tell them about Jesus. Will I tell them? of course, I have a radical relationship with my Jesus, and people need to hear about it. But, I need to see people as people and realize that the point, the reason why I do what I do, is to Love people.

The point: To Love people, the way Jesus loves

Love Wins

2010-12-02T02:35:00.001-07:00

I never cry. Somewhere, I picked up the idea that it's not okay to cry. I held onto that idea, and it took root in my heart. I had to be strong, had to keep it together. Eden never cries, and if she does, there's something really wrong

This semester, God's been teaching me something ridiculously simple, that He loves me. You'd think that'd be easy, that's Sunday school stuff. I should know this by now, I've grown up in church. Yet, I seemed to have forgotten that. Today... was crappy. I took my final, and I'm pretty sure I passed it, so that was good, but... things went downhill from there. The prospect of being on the verge of finishing the first semester of Ignite unleashed a thousand different emotions. I started thinking about a lot of things, one of them being myself. I'm still struggling with being the happy person God created me to be, and not driving everyone around me crazy while I do it. I was frustrated, feeling like I'd failed, again. But, aside from that, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I just knew that I was depressed and running from God. This morning, He told me He wanted to bring me back to a place of sensitivity. He wanted me back in a place where I cry easily. That scared me so much. Eden never cries. I was afraid of the openness, afraid of the soft, vulnerable place, where people see my heart. I was so, so scared.

The day progressed, and things got worse, I got jumpy. I felt like crying and yet I couldn't/wouldn't let go. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, trying so hard not to jar my glass house, for fear of it shattering around me. I spoke only when spoken to, laughed nervously at jokes and avoided certain people like the plague(sorry guys), because I knew they could tell that I wasn't okay; they'd been encouraging me to cry, and that was the last thing I wanted to do . Finally, my friend Steven told me to talk to him and let him know what was going on. So, with Ariel right behind me, I went to talk to him.

Long story short, 3 hours later, I had the meltdown I've been needing for so long. I let Ariel see my heart. I finally let the walls down and let myself be me. I let myself cry. Crazy thing is, this wasn't sad crying, didn't last for very long, and it wasn't terribly violent. It was refreshing, I don't know that you could even call it a meltdown. And what got through to me, was a simple truth: Jesus loves you, nothing can separate you from Him, not even yourself. So often, I'm my own worst enemy, I run away from God and I'm afraid to go back. I can't separate myself from God. He loves me no matter what, no matter where I run. He's been trying to teach me how much He loves me, it's okay to let people in, it's okay to be vulnerable. He loves me.

He's been reminding me of that. My friend, Kristen Nix gave me some glow in the dark stars and I got really excited. I put them up on the ceiling, really randomly, not paying a whole lot of attention to where they were going or what pattern I was making. When I got done, I realized my stars "accidentally" made a heart. It was God's simple way of telling me: I Love you
For a group project, some friends and I re-enacted the prodigal son, and I "randomly" got the role of the prodigal daughter. I love the way we portrayed it. Daughter finally gives up, and goes home. She tries to apologize "Daddy I'm so so-" and before the words are out of her mouth, Daddy God gives her a hug. She doesn't have to apologize or explain, He still loves her.

I didn't need someone to tell me to be happy. I didn't need someone to give me all the answers and solve all my problems. I didn't need someone to quote bible verses at me right and left. I wanted to let go, but I didn't know how. What disarmed me, got me to drop my defenses was L <3 VE

Today: L <3 VE wins

Devastate

2010-11-23T01:52:00.000-07:00

"Devastate: to lay waste; render desolate, overwhelm"
Wow! What a powerful word. Not exactly "good". The word devastate implies massive destruction. As in "The tornado devastated the town." "Devastate: to lay waste; render desolate." "Desolate: barren or laid waste."

You ever heard the line "Be careful what you pray for, cuz you just might get it"? In coming to Ignite, I asked God to deal with whatever needed to be dealt with. I asked Him to allow me to broken, to work in me what needed to be worked. Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

This semester has been one of refining. God has devastated my life. He's taken away distractions and forced me to evaluate. While it's hard, it's a good thing. I asked Him to do work in me, and He has. He is teaching me who I am. He's been teaching me to trust Him. He's been teaching me that I don't have it all together.

That's a big one. The fact is, nobody's perfect. Nobody has it together all they time. In fact, the ones that do "always have it together" are probably the most broken. Nobody can keep it together all the time. Nobody is always fine. It's okay to be not okay. It's so easy to think I have to keep things together. So easy to put up a front. Yet, that's another thing God is teaching me, when I admit my struggles, it makes me more personable. It's okay to admit I'm hurting, because then, people can hurt around me. It's okay to be vulnerable, because then, people can be vulnerable around me. And so, I'm learning to be vulnerable, I'm learning to let go. I'm learning to trust God and let Him guide me. I'm letting Him devastate my life and my thinking because it's so good.

Running into Daddy's Arms

2010-11-16T18:29:00.002-07:00

The past little while has been... Interesting. God has brought a lot to the surface. I've been working through different issues and, as is to be expected, it's been a struggle. I have good days and bad days. Days when I feel like I've done really well, and days when I feel like I've blown it. Yesterday was one of those days. I felt like every time I tried to overcome an issue, I'd fall down again. I also heard people talking about how far they'd come in Ignite and I got discouraged. I felt like I hadn't changed a lot and I was still dealing with crap. Another issue has been my personality. Needless to say, I'm a very hyper, happy person. I felt that at times I went too far with it and was starting to bother people. Deeper than that, I worried that people weren't seeing who I really am. Yes, I'm a happy person, but that's not all there is to me. I am capable of carrying on a serious conversation.

Obviously, there's been a LOT running through my head. Thankfully, God knows exactly where I'm at. In worship last night we sang one of my favorite songs. Forever Reign by Hillsong. I love the part that says In hope, I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love, will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace... It was so cool, because God gave me this picture. I imagined myself running into His arms, and Him picking me up and swinging me around. I felt Him holding me close and whispering to me, "I love you." That filled me with so much joy, and I was so excited at feeling my Daddy's presence.

If that wasn't good enough, I got a chance today to hear what people think of me. It was so encouraging to be reminded that my personality is who God made me to be. Yes, I'm hyper, yes, I"m happy, but that's me. Not that I can't work to keep from annoying some people, but my job is to bring people joy. I loved hearing how I have an ability to make people happy. Making people's day makes my day. The other thing that really made me smile was when my roommate said that there is a substance to me that goes deeper than the smile. It was so good to hear that somebody realized that.

I love being Daddy's little girl. I love the fact that His arms always open and He's just waiting to show me how much He loves me. I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace.

Daddy's Voice

2010-10-31T16:12:00.000-06:00

God talks to me in a lot of different ways. I've found that He usually talks to me through music. I make a point of going to chapel, because He loves to talk to me through worship. I've also discovered that He loves having conversations. Like, I'll laugh at something, and ask God if He found that as funny as I did and He'll say, "Yes I did." Sometimes He talks to me through and feelings. I can be thinking something really upsetting, and "out of the blue," a different, positive thought enters my mind. God uses all sorts of different things to talk to me.

Lately, He's been telling me that He hates being put in a box as much as I do. He's been showing up in ways I never expected. One time, I was talking to Him and He told me to relax. I said, "but, God this, but God that, but-" and God interrupted me, "I said relax." So, I took a deep breath and said "Okay, I can relax." I was sitting in His presence and then I said, "God, I'm so sorry, I'm falling asleep." His response surprised me, "Okay then, fall asleep." I said, "What? God, I can't fall asleep!I'm supposed to be spending time with you!." He said, "No, I told you to relax, and you're tired, take a nap." I tried arguing with Him, surely I hadn't heard right. But I kept hearing "I said relax." So, finally, I did, I went to sleep during my "devotion time."

Obviously, God talks to me in a lot of different ways and He says lots of different things. My response to Him varies depending on what He's saying. He likes to tell me that He loves me and that I'm His little girl. He tells me that He is faithful no matter what. Other times, He asks me to do things. I like it when He asks me to write someone a not telling them that He loves them. Other times, not so much. My room mate and another girl from Ignite came to talk to me the other day. They said they wanted to hear what God had been doing in my life, and they wanted the dead honest answer. I hesitated, but I heard God clearly tell me to tell them. I chose to listen to Him, though I did complain to Him a little bit.

God talks to me a lot and I love it. One my favorite sounds is Daddy's voice.

Putting God first and surrender

2010-10-21T01:30:00.000-06:00

Not so very long ago, a friend of mine said something that really stuck with me. He said, "Do I go to worship and chapel for me or for Him? Do I sing praises about my God because He fills me or because I want to glorify His name?" This was a challenge to me. Since then, every time I'm in chapel, every time I worship, my goal has been to glorify God. The awesome thing about this, is when I put God first, He shows up, and fills me. I think the powerful thing about this is it's not about me. When the focus is taken off of me and put on God, He meets me in bigger ways than He ever has before.

Today, Chapel was pretty awesome. When worship started, I felt like I needed to go to the front. Once I got there, I felt slightly awkward, I was like, what am I doing here? God said He wanted me to be a leader, but to be a leader I had to surrender to Him and stop worrying about what other people were thinking. It doesn't matter if people give me funny looks, I must follow God. We started singing the song, All I Need Is you We got to the chorus, "All I need is You, Lord, is You Lord, all I need is you." God asked me to get on my face before Him. That was also weird, but as I did, (admittedly with my face burning with embarrassment) the words of the song hit me. "All I need is You, Lord, is You Lord, all I need is You." With that chorus in my ears I started to pray. I said, "God, I give you everything. I don't need my pride, I don't need people to think well of me. All I need is you." God said, "Okay, now that you've really dropped your walls, now that you've finally surrendered, we can start working on some things."

So, from there, we went to prayer. I told my prayer partner that I didn't know what I wanted prayer for, I just knew I needed it. God has turned my world upside down and as awesome as that is, it has also been slightly painful. It's been a rough road as I'm learning to surrender and give everything to God. But, the girl I was praying with said simply God says "I see you and I'm holding your hand." I had to smile, because it was totally what I needed to hear. The road has been kind of hard, and sometimes I felt so alone. But, when she talked about God holding my hand, I totally felt Him put His hand in mine, it was SO awesome. There's still a long road ahead of me, things won't always be easy, but He has promised I will never walk alone. He told me " When everything feels broken, I'll fix it. When everyone leaves, I'll still be there. When it gets cold and the darkness settles in, I will keep you safe and warm."

God is soo good. <3

Let MY love define you

2010-10-11T23:26:00.002-06:00

Coming to Ignite has been an interesting learning experience. God is continually telling me to be real. He's been asking me to stop putting up a "perfect" facade and just be myself. That would be really easy to do, if I wasn't struggling with my identity...

Before I came to Ignite, I was a leader in my youth group and a pastor's kid. I always up to something leadership wise. Then... I came to California and found my world turned upside down. Instead of being the oldest, I'm the youngest. Instead of being the leader, I find myself literally surrounded by leaders. It was really unsettling and I found myself struggling to find "my place", where I "fit in." I found myself putting up a very shallow, happy go lucky, front. Not that I'm not a usually positive person, but I was over the top, almost trying to "fit in" by embracing the "not fitting in." No one has in any way attacked me, or my age, but I still felt kind of out of place. Then God started asking me to be real, to lose the fluffy, always goofy, somewhat ADD front. He asked me to be me and I found myself asking him who me is.

God very clearly told me to let His love define me. Instead of trying to create or find myself, to relax and let Him tell me who I am. A song that really spoke to me was Reign in us by Starfield. Part of the song says, "We cry out for your life to refine us, cry out for your love to define us." So, I started asking Him to define me. I started asking Him what having His love define me even meant. And so, He started talking. One of the things He said is "Your actions are defined by who you are, not the other way 'round." I had been basing my identity, who I was,on what I was doing, my position. When, in reality, those things came from who I am.

I finally came to understand what God meant by "let my love define you" on Saturday. A friend of mine knew a couple who were trying to open a coffee shop and they needed help cleaning up the place and getting it ready for business. He asked if I'd be willing to go over and help them. I said yes, and as I was cleaning out the deli case, God started speaking to me. He said "This is what I mean by letting my love define you. My love is literally who you are. Your job is to show my love to a hurting world. From my love stems other things, character, a servant's heart, a compassionate heart." And, as I was sitting there, in the coffee shop, cleaning, I had to smile. Because, I'm learning who I am. When we got ready to leave, the owner of the shop started crying. She couldn't believe that a group of us actually cared about her and what she was doing. It was such a small thing, but I got to love on this lady. I got to be Jesus. What I do is defined by who I am. I am a child of God. I am His love.

Fragile

2010-10-09T21:26:00.000-06:00

I've been reading Jesus the Man who Loved Women One of the points of the book is how delicate women are. The chapter that struck me the most was about a little girl. It talked about her little girl heart and her little dreams, her little girl hopes and little girl fears. It spoke of the little girl's vulnerability.

Girls are fragile, delicate beings, like flowers so easily bruised. Yet,even as I see this, I've been trying to ignore it, trying to suppress it in myself. For years I've told myself I'm okay. When people ask how I'm doing,I answer "fine" without a second thought. When I'm hurt I try to ignore it. I keep telling myself I'm fine, it doesn't hurt so bad. I haven't been hurt as badly as others. I've been afraid to admit that I'm not okay. It's like I'm afraid to admit to myself how deeply I've been wounded; so I ignore it. The problem is -like a wound untended- the hurt festers, gets infected and grows.

God has been reminding me that it's okay to be not okay. It's okay to admit I'm hurting. More than that it's okay to hurt. As much as I'd like to think I'm strong; as much as I'd like to say I'm okay, I have been hurting. I've been wrestling with my identity, my future, my pride, my hopes and my fears. My life has literally been turned upside down. I feel so much like that little girl, so vulnerable, so fragile, so, delicate. As I deal with these things, there are times when it hurts, there are times when it's absolutely overwhelming. These are the times that God asks to relinquish control of the situation, to give everything to Him and let myself relax in his arms. The fact is, I'm delicate. I do hurt,sometimes deeply, but that's okay. Because when I admit I'm not okay, God can heal that, if I ignore it, and force the pain out of my mind, it only grows.

But you see the real me,
hiding in my skin,
broken from within.
Unveil me,
completely
I'm loosening my grasp,
there's no need to mask,
my frailty
Cuz you see
the real me

Crying out from the Inside out

2010-10-06T22:13:00.000-06:00

I was in worship today and God really showed up. He has been so tangible these past few weeks, I love it. One of the worship songs that has stuck with me is Everlasting by Hillsong. I love the part: Let justice and praise become my embrace, to love you from the Inside Out.... And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise

I've been doing a lot of thinking about identity. My identity, who I am is defined not by what I do but by who I am. What happens on the outside, my speech and my actions, are directly affected by what's inside my heart, by who I am. I've been asking Jesus to tell me who I am, He's been telling me to let Him define me. People don't define me, my actions don't define me it's what's in my heart that matters. I need Jesus to come inside my heart, and make a change from the inside. I want my heart to be wildly chasing Him. My soul cries out.

The line of that song: the cry of my heart is to bring you praise. It's intense, another song line that stuck with me is: We cry out for your love to refine us cry out for your love to define us cry out. When you think of crying out, you think of someone yelling, someone who's desperate, someone who's passionate. Dictionary.com defines crying out "to call loudly; shout; yell." It's a desperation. My heart is crying out for Jesus. The cool thing about passionately seeking after God is when I seek Him, He is found.

Seashells and Starfish

2010-09-30T18:24:00.001-06:00

Once there was a family who went to the beach. As they were walking along the shore, the little boy started picking up seashells. Soon he had a lot of beautiful seashells. As they continued walking, the boy looked out into the water and saw a gigantic starfish. He looked at it eagerly and his family encouraged him to chase after it. So, the little boy ran to get the starfish. However, as soon as he was close enough to grab it, he stopped short and ran back to his family. His family was very surprised and they asked him why he hadn't picked up the starfish. Again, they encouraged him to go out and get it. Again he ran out, but again just as he got close enough to grab it, he stopped and came back to his family. The family asked him why he wouldn't grab the starfish. Sadly, he explained to them that he couldn't pick up the starfish because his hands were full of seashells.

God has been bringing this story to mind very very often. Coming to Ignite has completely turned my world upside down. Nothing is the same and sometimes I find myself clutching at the remaining shreds of familiarity. But, God is calling me to remember this story. I came here looking for starfish, but in order pick up those beautiful starfish, I need to drop some of my seashells. I've been asking God to help me drop the seashells. I don't want to cling to what is familiar; what may even look nice, and completely miss out on the starfish. Seashells are not bad things, they are pretty and good to look at, but starfish are better.

So remember, when God asks you to choose between Seashells and Starfish, chose the starfish.

Daddy's little Girl

2010-09-27T17:53:00.000-06:00

My relationship with my daddy has always been positive. Ever since I was little he's always been there for me. Right up until I got here, my dad would take me on a "date" once a month. These were always special times, when I could talk to Dad about anything. Whether I was frustrated with a family member, wanted advice on guys or just wanted to chat, whatever I had on my mind,I could talk to him about it. When I was really little, if I was upset, I could climb into my dad's lap and his arms would block out the world. Now that I'm older, my daddy can't fix all my problems, but he'll still hold me and love me. He's still there for me, no matter what.

I've been able to transfer my relationship with my dad to my relationship with God. God has always been there for me. He's always ready to accept me with open arms. Even when I've tripped and fallen flat on my face chasing after other things; He picks me up, cleans me up and sets me back on my feet. He wants to be involved in every aspect of my life. He cares about the little things and He unconditionally loves me.

Come to Ignite has made me seek after God and seek to know Him better than before. I've always had a good relationship with God, but He's calling me to go deeper. I've been asking Him to be tangible. I want to feel His presence all day every day. He's been reminding me to run to Him. People are fallible, but He is always faithful. I've been asking Him to show me His love every day. He has showed up again and again and again and again. He constantly reminds me that nothing can ever change the fact that I am Daddy's little girl.

Broken

2010-09-23T00:55:00.000-06:00

Make me over, make me new, make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart bring me to your heart and pull me closer. Sweet savior make me over.

Broken not usually considered a good word. It's an uncomfortable word. A word when used reference to my state of being makes me flinch. A word that makes my soul scream and scramble for a place to hide. This word implies pain. Pain is anything but fun. Yet, despite all the negative feelings brought about by the word broken; I'm learning that it's a good word.

Orientation day for Ignite scared me, because the speaker said "Prepare to be broken." The very idea unnerved me, it was terrifying. Just like any sane human being, I didn't want to deal with the pain that would surely come with being broken. Despite my apprehension, God has been working with me. Interesting how my busy, challenging, God based schedule brings my "crap" to the surface. God has been talking to me about things I thought I was done dealing with. God has been bringing up stuff I thought I'd moved on from long ago. God is reminding me of thoughts I'd pushed to the back of my mind, in order to avoid the pain that came with them.

He's letting me be vulnerable. I've been hanging out with people who call themselves observes. The quiet type, who watch people and learn about them. I've had an observer tell me, "You're feeling like ____ right now." I was taken aback by the fact that what they said was true. Funny thing is, either I knew I was feeling funny, but couldn't put my finger on why. Either that or I was trying to hide how I was really feeling and it didn't work...

Walls are coming down. Walls I didn't even know I had erected. And they're breaking a lot faster than I'm "comfortable" with. Crap is surfacing, crap I thought I was over. It hurts but, it's a good hurt. As I wrestle with these issues and continually bring them to God, He is so faithful. He continually places people in the right place at the right time. He is so good at showing me what's wrong and how he's going to fix it. The thing about brokenness is, after it happens comes healing. After going through the crap, sorting through messes, dealing with stuff I thought I was done with, I feel freer, cleaner, whole. And through it all, God is showing me how incredibly faithful He is. He's showing me how much He loves me. He reminds me that He is so faithful. So loving, so caring, so gently. And so, I find myself broken and yet, it's a beautiful thing.

At the cross You beckon me, You draw me gently to my knees, and I am Lost for words, so lost in love, I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

A woman's place

2010-08-21T20:04:00.000-06:00

DISCLAIMER: You may or may not agree with everything presented in this article. I am open to discussion, just keep it civil ;)

There's seems to be a growing trend in the church. An idea that both males and females swallow hook, line and sinker, that trend? Male domination. There's a rise in having a "gentle and quiet" spirit, and being submissive. It seems that many people have the idea that guys are the leaders and it's a woman's job to sit down, shut up and listen. This idea is prevalent in two areas: ministry and home life.

In the ministry, a popular idea is that women can teach children, but they cannot teach men. They should not be senior pastors and perhaps not even youth leaders. They're supposed to remain silent. Check out Joel 2:28-29 "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days." (NIV, emphasis mine) Notice, God doesn't differentiate between men and women, in fact, he emphasizes both genders. I firmly believe I'm supposed to be a missionary youth pastor. I believe I am called to place of leadership in ministry. As time goes on and I seek God's will, this passion only grows stronger. I've had confirmation after confirmation, I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. It is a God given desire.

What about home life? This is where being silent and submissive is pounded. A woman is to support her husband, and do everything he says without question. Check out 1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life..." Peter tells husbands to be considerate towards and respect their wives as partners. Not servants, not lessers, but partners, equals. Now, I'm not saying that the guy shouldn't lead the family and make the final decisions. I believe he should lead, be the head the of the family, be the protector and provider, but he shouldn't rule with an iron fist.

There's a difference between dragging the family after him and walking hand in hand with his wife, discussing where he wants to take the family, and proceeding forward. The wife places her hand in his, trusting him to lead her safely down the path of life. He should listen to her input, and then make a decision.

In conclusion, I believe that there is a place for women in leadership in the ministry, a God given place. I also believe that men should lead, but be willing to listen to his wife's advice.

Summer Camp Part 2

2010-08-05T23:49:00.000-06:00

In my last post, I said that I couldn't nail down one specific thing God had for me about camp. I said that camp was full of lots of little things. If I had to nail it down to one specific phrase it would be God continually shouting "I LOVE you!"

He did this in three specific areas, my friends, being myself and in His creation.

Friends
Basically, I spent the whole weekend getting to know a couple of my friends better and I had a TON of fun doing it. Whether it was chicken fights in the pool, standing in the lake talking, or coming up with an alternate version of “We will Rock You” we had a lot of fun. We spent the weekend trading food, “I don’t want my brownie, will you eat it?” “Eww I got ketchup in my mac and cheese, you want it?” “I took too many hotdogs, want one?” We sang crazy songs at the campfire, and kept each other laughing. We sat in the front row during service and jumped up and down in worship. We hugged each other, prayed for each other, and enjoyed each other’s company. We had an incredible weekend.

Being Myself
I came to camp with a motto “You’re at camp, no on expect you to look great, so don’t bother” As a result, I wore full makeup only one night. I only took one shower. I didn’t bother combing out my hair when I got out of the pool. And you know? For once, I wasn’t worrying what people thought about me. I knew I probably looked like a wreck, but, I didn’t care and nobody else did either. It was nice knowing I could just be me, plain and simple, not me with makeup, or me with combed hair. I was plain old, messy me, and I loved it.

Creation
There’s something about being outside in nature that excites me. Waking up at 7:30 and going outside looking at the trees and the grass, everything that God created was incredible. We went to the lake and rode in a boat, and I couldn’t help but think that life is good, and that creation was God’s amplifier, as He shouted “I LOVE you!”

Summer Camp Part 1

2010-08-04T15:09:00.000-06:00

Most kids come back from a youth retreat with something specific from God, one major thing He told them to do. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m not “most kids” and because of that, I can’t nail down my favorite part of camp, or even “the biggest” thing God told me. I liked spending time with my friends. I loved laughing so much that other people laughed at my inability to stop laughing. I enjoyed sitting around the campfire singing ridiculous songs at the top of my lungs. I liked being accepted for who I was, makeup or no makeup. I liked finding out I was influencing people positively for Christ. I loved it when God told me he was proud of me. I loved standing in worship, singing my heart out to God and being surrounded by teenagers doing the same thing. I liked hearing God say “I love you” through His incredible creation. Basically, I loved enjoying God and His creation. This was my last youth camp (as a youth at least) and it couldn’t have gone any better.

The first night of worship, Laura (the worship leader) said that the first night could be weird, that often times it was wasted, worrying about what other people thought about us. During worship, I was standing next to someone who looked at me every time I raised my hands. It made it slightly awkward, but finally I decided I’d come to camp to encounter God and I was going to get everything out of camp that I possibly could. I wasn’t going to let someone’s opinion (or perceived opinion) of me stand in my way. So, with that, I gave everything to God. I have this one memory that makes me smile; we were singing this one song that was a perfect jumping song. I glanced over at my “little brother,” our eyes met and we started jumping up and down, it was so awesome having fun with God. After the service, as I walking out of chapel, a friend of mine said “When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.” I was kind of surprised at the comment and asked why. He said that he was kind of nervous about giving everything over to God, but he’d seen me surrender and that gave him the courage to do it himself. Right after that another friend told me the same thing. It was so encouraging to know that I had made the right decision and in doing that, helped other people make the decision to abandon themselves to God.

Another awesome thing that happened during service, was the first night, Pastor Troy said that we had no reason to be afraid. If we fear God, and Him only, then there’s nothing else we need to fear. He said if there was anything we were afraid of, to name it and give it to God. I’ve had two major emotional breakdowns about college. I’m excited for the change, but I was apprehensive about “growing up.” I felt like life was coming at me at a thousand miles an hour and I couldn’t make it stop. I was afraid of, in a word, failure. Going to college, spending a ton of money, and yet, somehow, getting overwhelmed and failing miserably. That night, though, I gave the fear to God, I let Him take care of it, and now I’m more excited than ever to go to college and do what God wants me to do. On the last night, I was praying, surrendering to God. He said, “You know what I want you to do, right?” I’m said, “Yeah, go to college.” Then God said, “I’m proud of you.” That really made me smile, I’m so excited. College, here I come, bring it!

There were lots of little things that happened in service too. I’ve been saying for a while that I want to be a missionary and a youth pastor. But, being with a bunch of teenagers, seeing them get on fire for God, having conversation with them about how incredibly God loves them got me really excited. I think I want to be a missionary youth pastor, without the “and”. Like it or not, teenagers are the next generation, someone has to point them in the right direction, and that is exactly what I plan to do. I’ve been saying for a while that I want to start a youth group and call it “For Such a Time as This.” I thought it was pretty cool when Pastor Troy started talking about how we have been called for such a time as this. Not only is it my “future youth group name” but, it confirms the fact that the time I have right now should not be wasted. God put me on this earth right now, right here. I have been called for such a time as this

You're a Christian? So what!?

2010-07-16T13:53:00.001-06:00

Imagine this, you're talking to your friend and they ask you, "What religion do you follow." You immediately answer that you're a Christian. They look you straight in the face and ask, "What does that mean?"

1 Peter 3:15 says "Always be ready to give a logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you" So when some asks you what it means to be a Christian, what are you going to tell them? Your first response is probably something along the lines of "I believe I am a sinner and this separates me from the love of God. I believe that Jesus is the son of God, lived a sinless life and died for me paying the price for my sins. So now, when I die I can go to heaven and be with Him forever." What would your reaction be if your friend said two simple words, "So what?" This first response is something they've probably heard before, to them it probably sounds like religious jargon, and doesn't mean much of anything. Even if they understand what you believe, you still haven't completely answered their original question. "What does it mean to be a Christian? Or, what if we change it up and ask one of my favorite questions, "What does that [being a Christian] look like?" How does it impact your life? What makes you different from everybody else? How 'bout this question WHY are you a Christian? Can't answer that with something lame like "Because I am," or "Because I've been a Christian forever," or "because my friends are." What difference does it make in your life?

Let's define what being a Christian is not.
Being a Christian does NOT mean you're perfect.
Being a Christian does NOT mean you've got it all together.
Being a Christian does NOT make you better than other people.
Being a Christian does NOT mean life is always easy.
Being a Christian does NOT mean you won't ever have a bad day.
Being a Christian does NOT mean you're never gonna mess up.
Being a Christian does NOT give you the right to judge other people.

Being a Christian does NOT mean you have a better list of dos and do nots making you better and holier than the rest of the world somehow allowing you to judge them.
Being a Christian means that you acknowledge the fact that you are as messed up as the rest of the world, the only difference is, you've found someone who loves you too much to leave you messed up.
Being a Christian means falling madly in love with the one who created you.
Being a Christian means knowing that no matter what happens, no matter how bad life gets, the God of the universe knows what's going on and cares about you.
Being a Christian means living your life for other people.

So, why are you you a Christian?

Freedom

2010-07-16T09:34:00.000-06:00

written by Eden and Courtney and published in the UTCH July 2010 newsletter

Fear of man. The great plague hitting the local church. It's becoming all too common these days.

Judgment, fear, panic, apprehension, paralyzation. All of these are symptoms of the fear of man. Why is this happening? We are more concerned with what others think than what God thinks. This means, we are relying on fallible humans to tell us what matters and how we should be living our lives on a day to day basis.

This is sin. Why are we tolerating this? Jesus did not come so that we could live a life fearing other people's opinions. He came to introduce freedom. Freedom is defined as a "right to enjoy." Who doesn't want that?

Yet, so often we act like we don't really want to live in the freedom that Jesus came to give. Rather than exercising our right to enjoy, we remain bound by fear of man. How many times has God shown us something we should do, yet we remain immobile fearing what other people will think?

The freedom we are referring to is not a license to be reckless and forsake fellowship with other believers. In fact, the opposite is true – this "freedom" should cause you to humbly immerse yourself into the Body of Christ. It is a call to remember Who it is that you are to answer when it's all said and done and to truly live for an audience of One.

When we decide to walk in freedom, we chose to pay more attention to what God wants, than what people want. We decide to follow the rules God has set, rather than the rules humans set. This is where we find true freedom. God's opinion of us will never be condemning, or judgmental. He delights in seeing us accomplish what He has called us to accomplish. He delights in watching us enjoy. Rather than giving into the fear of man, why don't we let go and do what God wants us to do?

"I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free!" Psalm 119:32

Take a Look at the Ocean

2010-07-11T22:13:00.001-06:00

Take a look at the Ocean,
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am
And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one
I love you more than the sun and the stars
That I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today and tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more!

The background on my phone is a picture of the ocean. I used to hate the beach, but last summer I went on tour, had a worship session there and fell in love with it. I could literally just sit on the beach, listen to and watch the waves for hours. I love the overwhelming sense of God's incredible presence. I was looking at my picture yesterday and God spoke very clearly to me. He said, "See how the ocean extends farther than the eye can see? See how deep and wide it is? My love for you is greater than that." Ephesians 3:18b "How wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." What an incredible, deep love God has for us.

Simple Answer

2010-06-28T16:36:00.000-06:00

Why? Why is Christianity so unpopular? Why, when you mention God or even say the name "Jesus" people throw up a wall and change the subject? What drove Gandhito say he'd "be a Christian, if it weren't for Christians"? Why are people running from God, rather than running into his open and loving embrace?

A one word answer to all these questions is: Love. Something Christians seem to have a problem with is remembering God's unconditional love. We forget that Jesus died for us and paid for every sin. Every past sin, every sin we're committing now, every sin we're going to commit. We put ourselves under the old law, a condemning law. We lose sight of the fact that we don't have to work for our salvation, that we can't do anything to make God love us anymore or any less. Because we're living under such condemnation, we transfer that to unbelievers

When we talk to unbelievers, sometimes we try to guilt them into accepting Jesus Christ. We tell them they're dirty rotten sinners, and they should "turn or burn". We tell them they don't deserve God's grace and pray prayers such as "God convict so-and-so of their sin." When we do this, we transfer their salvation onto them focusing on their sin, and what they have done. This pouts people on the defensive, this is why we run into brick walls, and people stop listening. No one wants to have their sins pointed out, no one wants to be attacked.

Want some biblical back up for that? Check out Romans 2:3-4 "So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them, and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgement? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?" (NIV) Notice this, it says God's kindness leads us to repentance. Not God's wrath, not His anger. Not our guilt, not our works, not our sorrow, it is God's love.

Next time your witnessing to someone, instead of trying to guilt them into turning to God, try loving them. Just for clarification, I'm not saying people shouldn't be sorry for their sins, I'm just saying love is much more effective. When you love someone, you want to please them, and you do everything you can not to hurt them. I love God, so I'm sorry for sinning against and displeasing Him.

Try showing God's love to hurting world.

Remember

2010-06-20T23:06:00.000-06:00

Do you remember when you were little and your dad was better than Superman and he could beat anyone up?
Do you remember playing tag close to your parents and being next to them made you "safe"?
Do you remember running and jumping on your dad because you knew he would catch you?
Do you remember, when something was wrong, climbing into daddy's lap, and everything was better?
Do you remember his arms blocking out the world, and being at rest in his embrace?
Do you remember the last time you felt so care free? So safe?

I remember, but it seems so long ago. My problems are bigger now, I didn't fall off my bike and scrape my knee; Johnny didn't stick his tongue out at me. Sometimes a hug can't fix everything.
Sometimes, I think I have to face the world head on, I'm growing up now, right? I can face the challenges by myself. Yet, sometimes, I still find myself wishing myself 5 years old again, hiding in Daddy's lap, letting him take care of the problems.
Something amazing: while my earthly daddy can't block out the world, my heavenly Daddy can. I'll never be too old to climb into Abba Father's lap and let Him take care of my problems. Instead of staring into the face of finances, relationships, this, that and the other thing, I can hide in His embrace. I'm so tired of frustrations, anger, hurt, worry that ties my stomach in knots, I can let go of that, and hide in my heavenly Daddy's lap.

A song I've been listening to over and over is Embrace-Jake Hamilton

Wanna feel Your embrace
Wanna feel Your arms around me
Wanna feel Your heart beating
Next to mine…
And it’s telling me
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay

Lord I want to see Your face
I want to see who I can be
I want to see what You can see
In the mirror of Your eyes
And You’re telling me
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay
It’s all gonna be okay

For I know, if Your eye is on the sparrow
Then Your heart is on me
Yes I know, If Your eye is on the sparrow
Then Your heart is on me

But, God what about deadlines? It's all gonna be okay.
But, God what about my lack of... It's all gonna be okay.
But, God what about It's all gonna be okay.
But God, It's all gonna be okay.
But, It's all gonna be okay. Climb into my lap and let me take care of it. Relax and let me handle it. It's all gonna be okay

For Such a Time as This

2010-06-14T17:15:00.000-06:00

Imagine this: A whole race is about to be exterminated because of one man's selfish desires. The only hope lies with one person. The problem? If she tries to save that race, her race, she could be killed.
Know who I'm talking about? That's right, Esther. She knew that the Jews were going to die. She also knew that she was the only one could talk to the King and ask him to change his mind. There was a problem though: "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king." (Esther 4:11 NIV) Mordecai had a simple response,"...If you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14 NIV emphasis added)

When Esther was chosen out of several women to become King Xerxes' wife, she must have wondered why. She probably wondered if God had a plan for her, a Jew in the palace of a pagan king. Little did she know that God would use her to rescue her people.

The more I think about that, the more I get excited. God had a specific plan for Esther before she was born. He knew when she was going to be born, where she was going to live, what was going to happen to her, where she would end up. He knew exactly what she was going to accomplish for Him. Now, here's the exciting thing, if God had plans for Esther, He has plans for you. He set you apart for a purpose, there is something very specific God wants you to accomplish on earth. He knew exactly when you were going to be born, exactly what kind of problems you would face, exactly what would be happening on the planet at this time. God put you on the planet for such a time as this.

A song I've been listening to over and over is "Anthem" by Jake Hamilton. I love the chorus, because it addresses this exact topic.

He's calling
Wake up Child
It's your turn to shine
You were born
For such a time as this

You are on the planet, you have been called For Such a Time as This!

A Commitment to Purity

2010-06-09T19:02:00.000-06:00

I have a purity necklace. The crazy thing is, to some people it doesn't mean much. Sure, it's a good moral idea not to have sex before marriage, but is that all there is to purity? My answer to this question is: No. The idea of purity is to save yourself for your future mate. A question that begs to be asked is: Is the marriage bed the only thing you want to save for Prince (or Princess) Charming? Again, my answer is a resounding No. My commitment to purity, while it does involve not having sex until marriage, doesn't stop there. It also involves emotions and boyfriends.

Emotions are.. emotions. Sometimes, they make you do stupid things. We've all seen movies or perhaps been in the situation ourselves where either the guy or girl sees a "cutie" of the opposite sex and they suddenly lose the ability to speak. However, that is probably the least of the emotional problems that can happen between a guy and a girl. Take for example, over-analyzing. "Oh my gosh, he smiled at me, does that mean he likes me?" "He didn't say anything to me when I walked by him, he must hate me." "What did he mean when he said 'have a good day'? Did he really want me to have a good day or was he just saying that to be polite?" "He's looking at me... Does my hair look okay?" Thinking like that for even a day will drive you absolutely insane and make you miserable. Of course, there's also obsession. "Oh-Em-Gee, I haven't talked to him for 5 minutes I miss him so much!" "I have to wait a whole day before I see him again!" Again, that will make you miserable. The problem with both of these is it allows a person to take God's place. We cannot look to other people to fill our God sized hole. In all honesty, we don't want them to, humans are fallible, they are going to make mistakes, they will let us down. They will hurt us. God never will. It's important to make sure God is first, when I find myself slipping, I have to remind myself, my heart belongs to Jesus. How does this relate to purity? I'm saving my emotions for my future husband. When my husband asks how many guys I obsessed over before I married him, I don't want the answer to be "lots." Something I keep coming back to is a quote I heard from my big sister. "The man I give my heart to is the man I will marry." That is my purity commitment in one sentence.

Which fits right in with purity when it comes to boyfriends. If you know me, you know that I have never had a boyfriend. To take it a step farther, I don't want a boyfriend. Part of it is, I'm leaving soon. I'll be in California in 3 month for college. I don't want my heart tied to a boy back "home". However! I'm not going to CA with the intention of finding a boyfriend. For at least the first year, I'm going to be busy with college. But, more than that if a guy asked me to be his girlfriend, he'd pretty much be telling me, "Eventually, I want you to say I do." I know, I know, it sounds crazy but, look at it this way. Boy and girl friends hug each other, kiss each other, buy presents for each other, etc. People say those kind of relationships don't mean much, but I've seen plenty of relationships end in tears, anger hurt. I've seen girls go through so many guys and get hurt over and over again. Then it comes marriage time, maybe she never had sex with any of her exes, but, what does she have to give? Her heart's been broken many times, she's kissed a ton of boys, told a lot of them "I love you." I don't want to go through that, because, "The man I give my heart to is the man I will marry."

Expectation

2010-06-05T17:28:00.000-06:00

I went to my first youth retreat in 2008. That event was Acquire the fire. I remember coming back fired up and excited about God. I remember my dad saying he could see that we had had a life changing encounter with Jesus. In 2009 I went on tour with the Young Continentals and fell even more in love with Jesus. I grew closer to Him even as I led others to Him. This year, I went to Snow Camp in Idaho and it was absolutely amazing. I don't think anyone left there unchanged.

The thing all of these have in common is a radical, life changing, personal experience with God. A question I've been asking myself since Snow Camp is: Why doesn't this happen on a regular basis? Why do I not feel God's presence and power as closely and personally as I did on these retreats? Why do I not have regular encounters with Jesus that literally change my life?

Part of it is probably the atmosphere, hundreds of teens getting together for one purpose: To encounter Jesus Christ. Part of it may be that everything is geared to teenagers. I think though, that the biggest reason can be summed up in one word: Expectation.

We go to camps and retreats expecting God to do something radical. We're expecting something *SO* big, that we're willing to give up cellphones, ipods, computers, sleep and "normal life"for an encounter with Jesus. For the most part, we uncomplainingly disconnect from the world in order to connect with the Lover of our souls. We rarely reach in our pockets, turn off our electronics and say, "Now, I really hope God shows up because I'm missing out on talking to my friends." No! That would be crazy; we came to have a radical encounter with God and we expect nothing less.

In daily life, how often do we expect God to show up? Like, really show up in a way that will change us? The thing about God is: He's a gentleman. If you want Him to stay in your glove compartment, He will. He will not force Himself into your life. I have to wonder, what would happen if I was constantly expecting God to show up and change my life.

So, the secret to constantly being "wowed" and changed by God comes down to one word: Expectation

Lifestyle Evangelism

2010-05-28T22:05:00.001-06:00

While Friendship Evangelism is important, we can't forget Lifestyle Evangelism. It is perhaps the most important kind of evangelism, especially if you plan on using Friendship Evangelism on a regular basis. When witnessing to our friends, we have more credibility if we're actually walking out our faith. Why would our friends want to even consider our religion if it hasn't changed us? We want to be a Christian not only in name, but in action.

In order to do this we should take 1st Corinthians 10:31 literally, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." We need to make sure we are living a life that pleases God in every aspect. In the way we respect our parents, the way we treat our siblings, in our choice of friends, these should please God. So should the way we talk, our actions, our words, our attitudes, everything. We should be living a lifestyle that makes people stop and wonder why we're different.
Good luck! :D

Friendship Evangelism

2010-05-20T17:59:00.000-06:00

Some of you might have heard of street, or cold evangelism. I personally prefer friendship evangelism.

It’s a little bit easier, because, you actually know the person, and you can “customize” your witnessing to their beliefs and personality.

Something I like to do, is wait for them to bring “religion” up. The cool thing with this, is they don’t have to straight out ask you what you believe. They could say something like, “I’m really struggling with such and such right now.” or, “Look at the flowers, aren’t they pretty?” Or “I wonder how such and such works.” There are so many topics that lead straight back to God, Psalm 19:1 says “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

Sometimes, your friends will bring something up. If they start talking about their religion, you can listen politely and then say, “That’s interesting, here’s what I think.” It doesn’t have to be an all out argument, just a calm discussion about your beliefs.

Along those lines, your friend might come straight out and ask you what you believe. This is awesome, because they’ve opened the door wide open to let you say exactly what you want to say.

It’s important, though, to be careful in both cases, not to bash the other person or their beliefs. I’ll never forget talking to my Mormon friend about the differences between our religions, and he told me it was nice to have a discussion without bashing. You can use logic and arguments, but you should have more of a “Let’s explore this together” rather than an, “I’m right, you’re wrong”‘ attitude.

Another thing to keep in mind, you two are friends. The friendship is extremely important, yes, you want them to get saved, but that shouldn’t be the only reason for the friendship. If that’s the only reason, and you do not value your friend, they will never listen to you. Remember, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” — John C. Maxwell

Hope this helps!

Ramblings of a High School Graduate

2010-05-17T20:19:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 6:8 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Such an honest, sincere moment. When God asked for a servant, Isaiah didn't hesitate, he didn't as God if He could send someone else. Isaiah's instant response was:

Here I am. Send me.

That has been my heart's cry for so long. I've always wanted God to use me, to have the reputation of answering His call without a moment's hesitation. I've always had big dreams of doing something amazing for God. I started this blog almost 3 years ago with the intention of turning the world upside down, of somehow being a light in a dark place and reaching as many people as possible for Him. I dreamed of bucking the teenage reputation and proving to the world that I could be someone and do something. I dreamed of showing other teenagers how to do that, of leading people to Christ, of being somebody.

On May 8th, 2010, I graduated high school. The most encouraging and recurring statements I heard were "You have been a good influence" and "You are going to do great things for God." I've managed to make a difference in the little things. I guess my theory was right. I don't have to do huge things in order to make a difference. The little things I've been doing, worked. Always striving to be Jesus. To be an encouragement, to prove that I'm a Christian through the way I live my life. I made a promise in October of 2007 to respond to God with:

Here I am. Send me!

and the results have been rewarding.

Now, I'm looking forward to the future. I have responded again with

Here I am. Send me!

. I'm going to California to pursue the dream God has given me. I'm not entirely sure what to expect, but, I'm trusting God and I will continue to respond unquestioningly, unhesitatingly with:

Here I am. Send me!

"Taste and see"

2010-05-04T23:30:00.000-06:00

Today has been a really good day, I'm kind of hyper and excited for what's to come. I've been thinking about Psalm 34:8 "Taste and see that the Lord is good" Like I said, today has been a good day. I didn't get out of bed until 10:45, I had no school, youth was awesome, and Mommy M. finished my graduation display board! It looks amazing! God is so good, and on that note.

Psalm 75:3 "When the earth and all it's people quake, it I who hold it's pillars firm." God is so powerful and so good. Whether it's life threatening diseases, loose ends, frustration with details, or financial worries. God holds everything together :)

sigh of relief

2010-04-19T22:52:00.002-06:00

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life.

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

So, I was thinking the other day: "Life is good." The only Homework I'm dealing with is from Co Op, and I only have 3 days of classes in that. Essay is awesome, Home Ec is fun, and Math is ok. But.. I can remember a time when I was so stressed out and so overloaded that my parents and I were seriously doubting if I would be able to finish everything up before May 8th. I had said I would probably be working past that "magical date." Now, I'll be completely done April 30th.
How did that happen!? Because God watches over his children.

How do I react to such a crazy love. How should I respond? The Stand - Desperation band

So what can I say?
What can I do?
But offer this heart
Oh God.
Completely to you.

So I'll stand,
With arms high
and heart abandoned
In aw
of the one who gave it all
I'll stand,
My soul, Lord to your surrendered
all I am is yours

The Great Uniter

2010-04-14T22:54:00.000-06:00

Monday afternoon, I had a whole bunch of people over for band practice. It was so fun to hang out with my friends while doing something we all enjoy. Something I've noticed about music is that it bring people together.I think it has something to do with learning to listen to and work with each other in order to create something beautiful. The look on everyone's face after we ran through the song really well was priceless.

Music is the great uniter. In the same way it brings people together, it brings people closer to God. Music sets a mood. Some of the greatest bonding sessions I've had with Jesus have come from me playing music. This week, try connecting with God through The Great Uniter :D

NEVER!

2010-04-01T12:33:00.000-06:00

Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Inwardly Screaming. Begging someone to blow the whistle. PLEASE can't anyone call this April fool? Want someone to tell me it'll be okay. But there's NO guarantee that it'll be okay. Can't Daddy hold me, and make this go away? No... This is something bigger than that...

Tuesday night, at about 10:30 pm, I got a text message asking me to pray for someone who has a life threatening disease. I responded sympathetically, saying I would definitely be praying. I was not expecting the response "Thanks for the sympathy, but.. You know this person." Instantly, I started shaking, this can NOT be true... I tried to pray, but the only prayer I could think of was "Oh, God. Oh God, oh God PLEASE." Not a very effective prayer. I sent out several texts asking for prayer and got on the computer, and started talking to my big brother. "God is in control" He said. I agreed, but only half heartedly.

Do you trust me? I should know about this, I wrote a whole essay on it for crying out loud. But... when hit with this, I found myself wanting to trust God, but doubting just the same.

The next day, I was playing one of my favorite songs, "The Stand" by Desperation Band. I found myself going into a mini meltdown. I didn't cry or scream, but I poured my heart out to God. "There's nothing I can do! I'm so scared, so upset!" The words of the song suddenly hit me,
So what can I say? What can I do?
But offer this heart oh God, completely to you...
So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned,
in awe of the one who gave it all.
I'll stand,
my soul,
Lord, to you surrendered,
all I am is yours.

There is nothing I can do, except give my fears over to Him. Let Him be the one to deal with this problem. He's not up there biting His nails surprised at what happened. He knows. It was so comforting to just sit in His lap and know He is holding me. He knows how upset I am, but He's got it under control.

This morning, I thought about my favorite verse, and I wondered about the context. So, I pulled out my bible and looked up Hebrews 13:5 "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." Imagine my joy when I read onto the next verse "So, we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." I smiled, God's thinking about me, He's thinking about my friend. Everything's under control...

But God wasn't done reminding me that He loves me. A friend of mine on facebook had this as their status

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart, And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart. I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own, but you're not all alone Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas, Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet, With a love so strong and never let you go, oh you're not alone

I knew that HAD to be a song, so, I googled it, and as was reading the lyrics to the song I realized I'd heard this song before. I'd heard it multiple times, I'd just never really listened to the verses. Such an encourage song

Safe - Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone
Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

Chorus:

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Verse 2:

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

Chorus.

Bridge:

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me
These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

God will NEVER forget about me. He knows what's going on, and I am safe in his arms. "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So, we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."

Do You Trust Me?

2010-03-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

In Aladdin, Aladdin reaches a hand towards Jasmine: and asks "Do you trust me?" She places her hand in his: "Of course." Almost before she finishes, he leads her in leaping of the roof. They find themselves in a freefall towards his magic carpet.

The question "Do you trust me?" does not limit itself to fairy tales. God asks me the same question, daily asking, "Do you trust me?" This I believe: when I answer "yes" my friendships, academics and future become brighter.

When I trust God in the area of friendships, I treasure my friends serve them, and yet remain cheerful if they move on I can trust Him to bring friends when I need someone to encourage my relationship with God, be there for me, or correct me. If they chose to leave, He remains my faithful friend. While friendships are not always easy, I refuse to answer "Do you trust me?" with anything but "yes".

Academically, I must also answer "yes." Towards the end of my sophomore year, through a series of "coincidental" events, God said, "graduate early." I agreed. Perhaps, I wouldn't have, had I known that I would place my trust in myself to accomplish this task.Only a few months into my senior year,I got behind in half of my classes. I worked day and night in an effort to catch up, but when I collapsed into bed, exhausted, it didn't look like I had made any progress. I pushed myself harder, telling myself "I will get through this..." With only four months left in the school year, I -essentially- gave up. I told God, "I'm tired of doing this myself...I trust you."A few days after I trusted Him, I caught up in three of my four subjects. After I chose to answer "yes," my academic life has become much more focused and joyful, although I'm still working hard.

Finally, I must answer "yes" when approaching my future.While venturing into a new area of life, I have a lot of questions: Where will I go? What kinds of challenges will I face? Who will I meet? With these questions nagging at the back of my mind, it's easy for my "take charge" personality to kick in. I'm used to doing things by and for myself. Yet this throws me in a situation similar to my senior year: overloaded, weary and discouraged. I don’t know what's coming next, but, God does. Trusting Him is my only option.

In conclusion, while I'm still learning how to trust God in every area of my life, I know that He is faithful. I've seen what happens when I trust myself and when I trust Him. For this reason, when I'm struggling with friendships, academics and my future, I will trust Him. I will slip my hand into His and say, "Yes, God, I trust you."

Friendship

2010-02-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks SO MUCH to my writing teacher Mrs. Wright, My big Brother Justin, my friends the Jackson bros, Ryan and Levi for helping me get this to where I was happy with it. Oh, and yeah.. As I was writing this, I thought about lots of my friends, so.. thank you for being my friend :)

What allows me to have best friends that I know everything about, and other friends that I know nothing about? While I have many casual friends, I only have a few friends who really know me. These are the friendships I treasure the most. These facts raise a very important question : What causes my friendships to flourish and get beneath the surface, getting to the very core of our personalties? The answer is fourfold, I must be willing to invest love, trust, and honesty into the relationship and make God the foundation of the relationship. If I am unwilling to do this, my friendships will never become something I treasure.

Apostle Paul said, in 1 Corinthians 13:1 "If I speak in the tonguesof men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." Love is imperative for a deep friendship; with it, other aspects fall into place. Love must be selfless, focusing the friendship on being supportive of the other person. Apostle Paul makes this very clear in 1 Corinthians 13:5 "[Love]...is not self-seeking" If my friend is happy because he got an "A" on his paper, I'm happy with him. If I need to vent because I've had a bad day, she listens and lovingly supports me. No matter what comes up, we're always there for each other to dust each other off and help each other get back up. Ecclesiastes 4:10 summarizes this nicely, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him." It means a lot to me when my friends make themselves available to me and I enjoy being there for them. Love is essential in my meaningful friendships.

Love however, means nothing if there is no trust. As Walter Anderson said, " We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.” Trust is imperative in the the areas of support and discretion.I need to know that my friend will always give me an answer that points me to Jesus. Even if I initially dislike their response, I trust them. Because of this, I will listen to what they have to say, and realize that they were right all along. When my friends point me to Jesus, it actually deepens my trust in them, because they are sending me to the One who knows everything. It is important though, that after I have confided in my friend, or she has confided in me, I won't suddenly hear everyone talking about my "private" issues.. As Queen Elizabeth I said so well, "Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence you have not already tested." This is important, because without this level of trust, my friendships will remain superficial and superficiality doesn't create deep friendships.

Closely following love and trust, honesty strengthens and helps maintain a deep, lasting friendship. Honesty in accountability and openness will immensely deepen a friendship. If both my friend and I are Christians, then we are siblings in Christ. Siblings should keep each other on track, especially when it comes to a relationship with God. Because we are siblings it is extremely important that we let each other know when we think the other is starting to stray.Part of building a strong friendship is lovingly telling each other when we need to refocus our attention on Jesus Christ. A good question is "Is what you're doing glorifying God?" It lets the other person to know we care about them and want to help them stay on track. Additionally,
a friendship needs to be built on a willingness to be open about personal struggles. As we share our personal problems our friendship will thrive under the common bond of weakness. C.S. Lewis said it best, when he said, "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." By holding each other accountable and remaining open in our struggles, we act as teammates, helping each other become the people God intended us to be.

While love trust and honesty are critical to creating and maintaining strong friendships, they become deepest when I make God the focus. When my friends and I pursue God together we will become closer. Because we are doing everything we can to glorify God, not only will we be helping ourselves, but we will also help each other. As Proverbs 27:17 says,"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." As we set off to draw closer to God, we will sharpen each other's faith in God, and -in turn- deepen our love, trust, honesty towards each other. With God at the center, a friendship has no choice but to turn into something beautiful.

Love, trust, honesty, and pursuing God will cause a friendship to go way below the surface. These ingredients are what allow me to get to the very core of my friends' personalities. As I take the time to invest love, trust and honesty into my friendships, as I ask my friends to join me in pursuing God, a deep friendship will result-one that could last a lifetime.

Snow Camp Wrap up

2010-02-06T08:00:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about how amazing God is and what He did through Snow Camp. He really used it to break down the walls I'd put up, keeping Him back. I'd decided I was going to do things my way, and graduating early and getting everything done was dependent on me. *I* was going to do this *I* was way busy... *I* was WAY stressed... But, again, the timing on Snow camp was amazing. The Sunday before, I finally told God, "I can't do this! You have to help me, because I'm dying here!" I could totally hear God say, "I'm glad, I've been wanting to help you for so long." That whole week, I was searching the scriptures, looking for examples of God's faithfulness, and I found them Everywhere. Then, I went to Snow Camp, and God really drove home the whole trust/surrender concept. The cool thing is, I have found myself so NOT stressed since I got home from camp. I've gotten caught up in 3 of the 4 subjects I was behind in, and I finally feel like I can conquer this 4th subject. Before camp I had been worried, wondering if I could get everything done in time for graduation. I KNOW I can, it might be a rough ride, but I'll make it, wait, no I won't GOD will make it, He'll make it happen, cuz He's cool like that. Just gotta surrender to Him :)

Snow Camp Part 3

2010-02-05T08:00:00.001-07:00

The rest of 1-30-10

The cool thing about camp, is this whole week has been a build up. Just the timing, giving up and telling God "I can't do this anymore!" Going back to surrender and trust. I would say that the reason God has showed up is because I expected Him to show up. I knew I needed Him, I need to hold onto Him, all my defense and walls and this stupid pride got thrown out the door. The whole thing comes down to trust and surrender. It's so hard, but, when I let down my "take care of myself" attitude, literally let go, and let God, He's faithful to meet me where I am. God, I love you <3 ~Eden

Snow Camp Part 2

2010-02-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

1-30-10 after a full day of Snow Camp

Wow,I'm not sure where to start. God, you have showed up in such awesome ways. This morning was good, we started with open mic prayer which was amazing. God, it's awesome that you touch teenagers the way you do. Seeing different people come people come up and pour their hearts out to you is amazing. I was listening to people, and then I heard you calling my name. It was interesting because while I'm an extrovert, I didn't want to go pray in front of all those people. Still, I followed your call, and did it, I'm glad I did too.

The morning service was about taking authority, whether it's at school, for healing, against problems, everything. WE went tubing, which was fun, a girl got hurt and ended up =being taken to the ER. We went to play some games, but before that, I had another opportunity to step out of my comfort zone. The pastor asked 3 people to take authority and pray for healing. I'm happy to announce that I just talked to the girl and she has only a mild concussion and severely sprained ankle. This is so awesome because there were rumors circulating that she'd twisted her hip, broken her ankle, or even shattered her leg. God is so awesome!

Tonight's service was amazing too. I love how God meets me where I am. We started worshiping and I could feel God telling me to kneel. It was so weird, I didn't want to, but I think it goes back to trusting and surrendering to go God. So, after pulling myself together, I kneeled at my Daddy's feet and I didn't want to get back up. Everyone was worshiping and feeling God's presence. Pastor Andy got up to preach, but he said God wanted to so something, so he would pray instead. It was amazing! He would lay his hand on someone and instantly, they were slain in the Spirit. Everyone had such an encounter with God it was so awesome to see everyone going to a new level with God. Pr. Randy prayed for me, and God totally showed up. My youth pastor came over and told me I was God's delight. That did it, I turned into a sobbing mess, but it was a good cry. I felt God tell me this is my calling, seeing so many teenagers sold out for God.

It was cool, because I was praying with the youthgroup and giving people hugs and I could totally sense God's love and His great plans for them. It so cool to get a glimpse of "God's eye view" of people. I am so thankful for a youthgroup that is on fire for God. Another cool thing that happened that night, was that one of the girls got saved! It was so exciting to tell her that the Angels in heaven were rejoicing because of her decision.

Snow Camp Part 1

2010-02-03T07:15:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, I had the opportunity to go to Snow Camp over the weekend, a youth retreat in Challis, Idaho. I kept a journal while I was at Snow Camp, so I'll put the journal entries here. =)

1-29-10 Shortly after arriving at Snow Camp
Hey God,
I'm way excited about meeting you here. I'm excited about meeting new people and I'm slightly nervous. There's one other problem, I seem to be having a hard time breath. Don't know why… Please heal me of that, or help me to praise you through it. Can't wait to see what you're gonna do <3 `~ Eden1-29-10 After the first session
Okay, so Tonight was awesome! We started with worship. It was hard for me to get into it for some reason, but I just pushed myself to worship. The sermon was awesome, talking about having an appetite for the things of God. Pastor Andy prayed for people to receive the Holy Spirit. Then we went to an all out worship session, that was just amazing. Everyone was so excited, so captured with the love of God. No one left that room unchanged. God is just being amazing. He's totally shown up this week and tonight was the culmination. He's been talking to me about trust lately, and I finally understand what I'm supposed to do. Actually doing it is whole 'nother matter. But, for once, I'm not tired and whiny. I'm content and way excited about what God has for me. Excited for tomorrow. Still having a hard time breathing, and I've developed a seal-like cough, but I don't care, God is awesome!
<3 ~ Eden

Healing and "heavenly coincidences"

2010-01-03T00:22:00.000-07:00

Several of you have read my most recent blog post on the miraculous healing I received Thursday night. Some of you may be skeptical and not sure what to make of it especially considering the post I created about a year ago claiming the same thing; healing from chest pain. Perhaps some of you are wondering why, if I got healed a year ago, this pain came back. I am convinced that God did heal me a year ago, the problem is that while I believed it, my body didn't. Sometimes (and I'm not sure why) the symptoms come back, you just have to keep rebuking them and claiming the healing that God has given us. Was I healed last year? Yes, but I gave up my healing, this year, I'm hanging onto it.

Some of you might argue that this sounds fishy, but you can't deny that my story is full of little "coincidences". I didn't ask for prayer, Andrew "just happened" to call out my specific need, and God, to make sure I knew He cared about me, had Andrew "just happen" to lock eyes with me. Those of you who know me know I wouldn't make something like this up. God totally showed up.

He's been full of little "coincidences" lately. I have two older "brothers" that by all natural means I shouldn't know. One of them I met on a tour that neither one of us was "supposed" to be on. I was "supposed" to go on a different tour a year earlier and he was "supposed" to stay home and enjoy his summer vacation. Because of God's greatness and his wonderfully planned "coincidence" we've been fast friends ever since. My other "brother" I met through a mutual friend, we talked to eac hother and just "clicked" for some reason or another, we opened up to each other and God has used the relationship to bless both of us.

Could it be just "coincidence" that I was drowning in a school load before I came here to Arizona and God reassured me He'd take care of it? Coincidence that I've had so many wonderful heart to heart discussions that opened me up to hear from Him during this whole thing?

Absolutely not, I serve a mighty God, a God of well orchestrated, beautiful, "heavenly coincidences"

God of the "Small" Things

2009-12-31T23:05:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I am in Arizona for an Andrew Wommack (televangelist) conference. I don't know if you believe in healing or the holy spirit, but there is absolutely NO denying that God showed up tonight.

After Andrew did his sermon, he head his staff come up and if you needed prayer for something physical healing or otherwise, then you could come up and have them pray for you. My grandma asked if I wanted to go up for prayer and I said "no" for some reason, I felt like I should wait. Andrew addressed allergies and then he said, "I believe there is someone in the room who is feeling chest pain, right in the middle of their chest, right where the ribs connect to the sternum." My jaw was on the floor and I had my ears pricked at this point, Andrew was describing me to a "T". By this time he was standing about a stone's throw away from me, and he asked those with chest pain to stand up and make eye contact with him. I stood up and I was the first person he made eye contact with. He started praying and I felt God's presence so powerful taking away the pain, banishing it, I will never experience that kind of pain again, God has healed me. There is no denying it.

I'm so glad I serve a God who knows me and thinks about me all the time. In a room full of hundreds, maybe thousands of people, God was thinking of one sixteen year old girl, who'd been battling chest pain for two years and was getting tired of it. He was thinking of me, and He completely healed me.

Praise The Lord!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T03:17:00.002-07:00

I've often been asked what my favorite Christmas song is, and I never could answer the question. Well, today I found at least a favorite. This might surprise some of you, because, it's not the "typical" Christmas song. It doesn't evoke warm fuzzy feelings, "visions of sugarplums" or even singing angels. It's a song about someone who just needs a break, Jesus shows up, and it's the last straw...

No Room- Todd Agnew

There's no room...no room in the inn,
If you were someone important we might try to fit you in, but there's no room in here for you.

There's no room...no room to lay your head,
If you were wealthy we might find you a bed, but there's no room in here for you.

'Cause I'm cold, and tired of working my whole life away,
Every hand, needing one thing more, comes knocking at my door,
I got a hundred people calling out my name today, and you come to my door,
And I can't care no more, unless you can save me.

There's no room for you and your little lady, (you and your little lady)
There's a manger in the stable; should be just fine for your little baby,
There's no room in here, no.

'Cause I'm cold, and tired of working my whole life away,
Every hand, needing one thing more, comes knocking at my door,
I got a hundred people calling out my name today, and I can't care no more,
And you come, asking for something for nothing,
What can you give me? Can you save me?

'Cause I'm cold, and tired of working my whole life away,
Every hand, needing one thing more, comes knocking at my door,
I got a hundred people screaming out my name, and I can't care no more,
You come, needing more when I got nothing,
What can you give me? Can you save me?

Oh, please, little baby, can you save me?
Little baby,
Whoa,
Baby, oh, baby, oh, baby.

Can you save me?

Here's the video it's not the best, but at least you can hear the song. The reason I like it is because it's a real person with real problems. The Innkeeper has got to be worn out, Mary and Joseph are probably not the first people to knock on his door. Probably not the first people to beg for even a space on the floor, probably not the first to say "it's important." So what does he do? He tells them to leave, they're unimportant, and right now, he's desperate to find something important. I love how this song alludes to the coming savior. "Baby can you save me? I'm need something right now, but from what I can see, all you're asking is for another favor. I don't have anymore favors to give. Can you save me?" The answer to that is a resounding, "yes." That's what Christmas is all about, God came to save those who were lost and hurting. He doesn't need people to get their act together, He doesn't need people even to respond to Him correctly in order for Him to love them. He loves everyone no matter what and Christmas is His answer "baby, can you save me?"
Absolutely

The Christian Life

2009-12-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about a lot of different things lately, so, once I again I apologize if this post is hard to read, since it's just a rambling....

Every week after church my family goes witnessing to a neighborhood just down the street. We knock on doors, tell people about Jesus and invite them to church. We also invite any youth we see to come to youthgroup with us. Last night we actually had two girls come with us. They were kinda shy, but when I went to talk to them they really seemed to open up. I was fascinated by them because, they kinda talked and acted rough, but underneath that, they seemed really sweet and for lack of a better word: human. There was something else about them that I was picking up on, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I decided to sit with them during the lesson, but just as it was starting they informed me that they needed to go home because their mom was worried. I felt like there was something behind what they were saying, but we took them home. The conversation in the conversation kind of went towards religion and I asked the girls what religion they were, one claimed she was catholic the other claimed she was a spiritualist.After dropping them off and returning to youthgroup, I couldn't stop thinking about those girls. When I came home, I suddenly realized what had hit me so hard.It was their absolute and utter lostness. I've gotten used to some of my friends who at least act Christians, but these girls just didn't. It strengthened my resolve to be a missionary "when I grow up"

Romans 10:13-14 "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" I guess you could call this my life verse, spreading the gospel until as Casting Crowns would say "The whole world hears!"

The problem is figuring out how to do that. I certainly don't want to offend people by bashing them in the head with the bible all the time. Another interesting dilemma is being a Christian without saying a word. I have some friends who just exude the presence of God, no matter what we're talking about, I can just tell that they're saved. I think that kind of... aura comes from being in constant contact with the Lover of our souls.

Who I am and who I strive to be, an obvious Christian, who will "sing until the whole world hears."

Forever Love

2009-11-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

"I love you"
"I love you too, I'll love you forever."
"I hate you, I'm leaving."
"But... I thought you said you would love me forever. What happened to forever?"
It seems that in this world especially with kids my age we hear a lot about forever. Forever love is term used a lot, but it really doesn't seem to mean anything. Looking around, it seems we are forced to wonder if forever love actually exists. I'd like to propose that forever love actually does exists, it just exists in a different way than the world would like to think of it. When we define forever and love we discover a beautiful picture of forever love.

Let's first define forever. Dictionary.com defines forever as "without ever ending; eternally." This is a problem with forever love. I've hard so many couples say they'll love each other "forever" but, six months later they've moved on to another person they'll love "forever." Forever didn't last very long. There seems to be a growing trend of divorce. Married couples promise that they'll stay with eachother "forever," but even as they're saying those words, they've got the door of divorce open in the distance. Forever seems to have lost it's meaning.

Now let's look at the definition of love. I looked it up on dictionary.com but I wasn't happy with any of the definitions. It kept defining love as a feeling, but love is not a mere feeling. Love is an action verb, a purpose and a promise. Love is a verb because you decide to look after someone and work with them. It's a purpose and promise, you decide you're going to stick with the person through thick and thin, for better or for worse. You're going to look past their issues and love them no matter what. Love is not a feeling. Feelings can be brushed aside, love is a promise and you don't break promises. Promises are supposed to be kept "without ever ending; eternally"

So we've looked at what forever really means and we've also looked at what love really means. When we examine forever love through this kinda of lens, it appears that forever love doesn't exist. That it's just a fairy tale, or that as teenagers we can't experience forever love. I believe that forever love does exist, because God's love is indeed, forever. God fits the definition of forever love and so much more than that. 1.Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." That absolutely fits forever love and so much better than we humans ever will. I love his promise in Hebrews 13:5 "…for He Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you."

At the end of the day, Forever love exists beautifully in God, He promises to look after us and stick with us through the thick and the thin without end.I believe in forever love, but, I believe in God's defintion, not the "Forever love" of 6 months.

Stereotypical

2009-11-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

A bunch of teenagers meeting for the first time. Everyone expected to meet new kinds of people, the funny thing was, everyone had certain ideas about the kind of people they were going to meet...

Let's go back in time to a coupla months ago and reminisce about... the first day of tour :D It was interesting how fast people... "judged" is the wrong word. The word is really stereotyped. We all thought the girl from Alaska was used to cold all the time, we thought the people from Hawaii were probably surfers. Um... a lot of the guys had long hair, but only one of them was a skater. I don't think any of the tall kids actually played basketball. Hey, we even had a white kid who thought he was an "American Gangsta"

I remember being struck by how quickly everyone stereotyped everyone. I also remember being surprised at how quickly I stereotyped people. I think about how I wear a lot of black occasionally wearing all black. It's funny how people have commented on the fact that I wear a lot of it, but no one has every seriously called me emo. My one friend was like, "i wanted to wear black, but I didn't want people making comments." I laughed and said she could have joined me in debunking stereotypes.

so what's my point? It's easy to stereotype people, but, God made everyone unique, you can't cram people into a mold. Because seriously, if everyone was "stereotypical" the world would be boring.

Where/How I am, right now= P-R-I-D-E

2009-11-11T22:19:00.002-07:00

Momma's Girl, Goody two-shoes, Daddy's girl, on fire Christian, sweet... The list goes on and on, I tend to have a reputation as a "good girl" I mean, after all, I don't swear, I (usually) get along with my family and I have a ton of friends. I'm happy almost all the time....

Along with all these things, I'm a good actress. It's especially easy to act when I'm on the phone. I had this one conversation, where I was fuming mad, and the people on the other end of the phone couldn't believe how calm I was being. The thing about me is when I'm upset, I tend to pretend I'm not. I have this problem called pride, and if there's something pride does is it makes you always want to look like you have everything together. This creates something I might call "mask syndrome." When I'm upset, I tend to act overly happy and excited, trying to push my emotions deep inside of me pretending, I have everything under control and everything's okay. As a general rule, I don't cry in front of people other than my family. If I'm really overwhelmed, or in the presence of God, I might, but my stupid pride usually dictates silence. Hence the overly excited, "happy" plastic me. The problem with this is that I get so good at pretending that I fool myself. I was talking to my mom today, and the mask just suddenly came off.

We were talking about how I've been kind of argumentative lately, and she suggested that maybe I was stressed out. I said, "you know that is all together possible." She said, "You know it's gonna get crazier in college." Then pride reared it's ugly head. Another thing pride does, is it makes it hard to take confrontation. (more on that and myself in a bit) I shrugged and told her, "I'm surviving." She said, "No you're not, just getting through is not surviving." In a way, she has a point, I was talking to my friend and I said, "when you're busy you can get into a comatose sort of state." In other words you're so busy being busy that you don't have time for anything else. I'm kind of tired of the question, "How are you?" because I never know how to answer it, I honestly haven't really sat down and asked myself how I'm doing. I tell myself I don't have time, or that it doesn't really matter, and I'm confused. So often I find myself answering this question with, "I'm alive." This is so true, I'm finding that I'm not thriving; I'm only surviving going through life, only paying a little bit of attention to what's going on inside me.

If I were to be gut level honest with myself, (which I almost hate doing, because it's admitting that I have problems) I have to admit that I'm still struggling with reading my bible. But at the same time, I'm desperate for God, I think my soul knows I need Him, but my head tells me I'm so busy doing His will that I don't have time for him. I still love going to church, youth group and bible study and I throw myself into worship. Interestingly enough, my prayer life has gotten stronger...ish. Unfortunately, I'm throwing God in when I have time for Him, or worse, when it's "convenient." It's kind of like Paul talks about fighting against himself. My soul is desperate, screaming for God, it knows I can't make it without Him, but my foolish, sinful, prideful self keeps telling to keep fighting, and push God out of the way. I'm an independent person, and extremely strong willed. Once I set my mind to do something, it takes a lot to stop me. Because of this, anything in the physical world that I decide I'm going to do gets done. The problem is, because I'm so confident and so darn stinkin' prideful. I tend to take the reigns out of God's hands and tell Him, I've got it from here. But, again, if I were to be down to earth honest, I don't. I think I've been focusing on my problems, my pride, my stress and my strength too long.

Oh My God, is awesome! :) I love how He gets my attention. This would explain why after Bible Study, Church or youthgroup, I feel so much better, because I've, no, I'm sorry, there I go again GOD sets my priorities straight. He says "hold on, you've got it wrong, you're not the answer to your problems, I am." The funny thing is, I actually wrote about this in part of an essay for essay class and I still missed it. (Us stubborn folk can be so hardheaded sometimes) It's been a long process. But God has been faithful, He's been so awesome in allowing me to take my babysteps towards Him. He's used my friends, my parents, my own love for writing to draw me closer to Him. *Happy sigh* Even this post is miraculous, I didn't want to write it, I was subconsciously, fighting with God, arguing with Him. I was talking to my friend and I told him I'd given up on writing this post, my pride was jumping up again and I didn't want to be convicted. Then, (you've gotta love honest friends) my friend said, "Conviction is a good thing." I hated what he said, but I knew he was right. So, gritting my teeth, I set about writing this post, and God totally showed up. I've been playing Christian, I've been playing at being a momma's girl, a sweet girl, a good twoshoes, a daddy's girl. I haven't been honest. At least not most of the time. I'm such an actress, but it doesn't work, it's not real.

Daddy,
It's me again. I've fallen on my face, trying to be my own savior. I can't do it by myself, I don't know how. I only think I can, please, help me Jesus! I don't know what I'm doing, no matter how much I think I do. Thank you for being so patient with me, thank you for putting the right people in my life at the right time. Thank you for caring about me. Please help me to submit fully to you.
Love,
Your Daughter.

I love my job!

2009-11-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I did just say that, no, I'm not insane. I was at work on Friday and it suddenly hit me, I love my job. It's not because I love fast food. I don't. Honestly, when I was looking for a job I absolutely did not want to work fast food. But, when I applied, got the interview and was hired within 3 days, I had a feeling that God might have been involved. I never hated my job, but was never like, Woohoo I love my job! It wasn't until Friday that I realized I do indeed love my job. It's not because of what I do, necessarily (though I have learned that drive through during rush hour is *really* fun) it's the knowledge that I'm *exactly* where God wants me that makes me happy. Furthemore, I got more hours and more hours means more money. :D I'll say it again: I love my job! :D

Twisted Thoughts

2009-10-26T20:34:00.000-06:00

Bible Reading, Discussion, relationships, hospitals. I've been thinking about a lot of things....

I was talking to my friend earlier today and we had some fun chit chat, and then he asked me the million dollar question. "How's your walk with Jesus." I hesitated for a minute. I have no problem saying I have a good relationship with God, but I willingly admit I'm having a hard time digging into the word and praying. I love how God gets my attention no matter where I'm at. My friend said, "why don't we get off of facebook and read the bible for a while." I agreed and just drank everything in, then we had a discussion, and if you know me, you know I love:

Discussion. My friend has a saying, "Talk comes cheap these days, and I'd pay anything to hear something worthwhile." I've been thinking that a lot lately. In an instant world we have facebok, im, email and text. We can pick up the phone and say everything in .2 seconds. With everything being so instantaneous, we don't take time to listen, to explore, to dig deep and to think. We focus on the surface and never dig below the surface to where the real growing happens. I love going to Bible Study, because the pastor isn't afraid to encourage discussion.

I'be also been thinking about relationships, people are different and complicated. Humans are the most complicated things on the face of the earth. God has created each of us differently. I think it's interesting how you can know someone for two days and know absolutely everything about them, and at the same time know someone for years and not *really* know them.

My family went to a hospital open house and I was fascinated with all the different areas there in the hospital. Radiology, Ultrasound, Nuclear Medicine, Labor and Delivery, You've got CT Scans, and MRIs and Surgery and pediatricians and the list goes on. The more I heard about everything in the hospital, the more I was amazed by God. I told my mom it's true! "The fool says in his heart, there is no God." God is everywhere, if you're open and looking for Him, he *always* shows up. I don't know how many times God has gotten my attention and stopped me dead in my tracks when I was running from Him and didn't even know it.

Broken Record??????

2009-10-17T20:09:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I've said this probably a hundred thousand times, but God is awesome. I've probably also said that I'm tired a LOT of the time, I'm busy and worn out and stressed. The cool thing is, God is faithful, when I give things to Him, He helps sooo much.
I'm sure I've analyzed this song a thousand times, but God just shows me something new every time.

Take me In-Kutless
Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place

Take me into the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me into the holy of holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am

That's all it is, over and over and over again, but it has so much meaning. It's asking God to take you away from distractions, into this holy, quiet place. The Holy place refers to the Holy of Holies. In the old testament, in the tabernacle, there was the Holy and then the Holy of Holies, only a priest was allowed into the Holy of Holies and even then only once a year. The Holy of Holies was where God was. There is no Holy of Holies now, or at least, not literally, but God still wants to meet with us. It's still a prayer, a cry, God, take me away from distractions away from confusion, away from things that would tear me down. Let me just sit and talk to you.

Are you DARING?

2009-10-12T10:00:00.000-06:00

I have a pretty cool friend by the name of Ryan and he put this together. Enjoy :)

Affectionate (towards God): Take some time to reminisce. No joke here. Think about your entire life, focusing on the points where God has protected, guided, and healed you. I did this for the first time in several months and found myself in tears! GOD IS GOOD!
If you can't think of anything, take some time to pray that God would move in your life. If you are authentically and selflessly seeking after him, he WILL move!

Righteous (in God): Take God's standards into every area of your life. When you are going to do something, remember that he is watching and so are the angels-it might help you!
Also, make a COMMITMENT to purity in everything so that, when faced with a temptation, you will already have made the choice.
The biggest mistake to make is not making the decision beforehand. The hardest time to keep your eyes on God's will is when there's ALREADY a conflict!
Make it a priority to live your life HIS way!

Intimate (with God): Set aside about an hour to pray this week. Take that time, and start off with being affectionate (see advice on becoming more Affectionate). Thank God for all that he has done in your life, and praise him for who he is!
Then, once you've done that, pray that he would work in your life and make a miracle out of you and your problems. Take some time to read some Psalms (Psalm 139 is a favorite of mine) and pray that God would help you to truly and authentically love him.
Try to set some time aside in your mornings, evenings, or mealtimes, to pray and ask God to help you become consistently more intimate with him!

'Nfectious (for God): Make a decision to intentionally share your faith. And no-I'm NOT talking about handing out gospel tracts. If anyone asks you why you're happy, let them know why!
I remember once being asked by my boss if I was a naturally happy person, and I just said yes. Why? Because, thanks to God, I AM now a happy person! Don't let yourself become so out-of-touch with what God has done for you that you forget how much he can help them!!!
Even if its just saying "Praise the Lord!" out loud, make sure that those around you know WHY you are the way that you are!

God-minded (about God): Before you do this, pray that God would open your eyes to see the way he sees.
As you go throughout your day, look at absolutely everything and ask yourself how God must see things. When you see someone walk by, realize how God sees them. When you see someone in need of help, see them as God sees them.
When you see a poster, a movie, a TV show, listen to a song-see them how GOD sees them!
As you deal with people-coworkers, friends, family, strangers, those who serve you, those who you serve-all of them-look at your words, thoughts, and actions, and imagine how God sees them.
I don't know what God will put on your heart, but the only advice I can offer is that you act according to the insight God gives you!

God bless!

Here is my own list, btw:
Are you DARING:
[8]Devoted (to God)
[9]Affectionate (towards God)
[7]Righteous (in God)
[8]Intimate (with God)
[5]'Nfectious (for God)
[7]God-minded (about God)

I hope you take the time to read the whole note! God's been putting it on my heart to share this message, and I'm looking forward to giving some of these messages over this coming summer!

Bible Study

2009-10-11T21:08:00.000-06:00

I went to a Bible Study today and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love how Pastor Gatlin encourages discussion. We have some people who say some very interesting, thought provoking things. God has really been challenging me about what I believe and why. Asking me if I can back up what I believe. I've really gotten into this questioning mode, not a bad one, just, I don't take things at face value. Instead of swallowing everything I'm told, I think about it, digest it, figure out how it lines up with what I believe. I ask a lot of questions and I love discussion, I love how God shows up. :D

The Call 3rd Week

2009-10-11T20:55:00.000-06:00

Hey guys, sorry this is kind of late getting out, here's the update on week 3.

We only had a handful of people participate, but it was still good, God is definitely on the move. There seems to be a consensus of wanting to have a real life meeting. Be praying for that, talk to your parents and find out a good day, I'm thinking Mondays or Saturdays might be good days.

Please continue praying for unity, passion for God and a way to get everyone on the phone at the same time. God bless,
Eden

The Call 2nd week

2009-10-03T18:05:00.000-06:00

As some of you know, we had another conference call today. It was absolutely amazing, I had only intended to be on the phone for an hour, but because of the inability to get everyone in one call, and the amazingness of what God was doing, I was on the phone for about two and a half hours.

I'm so excited because God is bringing direction to the group. I honestly believe that He told me that what He wants right now is to draw all of us, first and foremost, closer to Him and closer to each other. By having this call once a week we're getting people together, encouraging one another, strengthening our faith and keeping alive the passion and vision that God has given us. I believe that as we draw closer to Him, people will realize we are on fire for God. They're going to notice that there's something different about us, and they're gonna want it for themselves.

I'm excited about the group of people we have. We went from eight people last week to fifteen today. That is nearly double, which, in my mind, is further confirmation that we are doing exactly what God wants us to do. Not only did we double our numbers, but we have at least four other people interested in what we're doing. I'm excited to be working with fellow teenagers. As teenagers we have an incredible strength, we aren't afraid to dream big, and we believe we're invincible. The fact is, with God, we can dream as big as we want and we are invincible. There were a few ideas thrown around today that made me so excited, God is giving us these huge dreams, and now I can't wait to see what He's going to do to fulfill these dreams. Look out world, here come the teenagers and we're gonna turn this world upside down for Him!

We're still definitely open to more people, we're trying to spread the word as fast and as far as possible. If you or someone you know is interested in doing this, please have them contact me. I'm available by phone, email or facebook, and I'm willing to respond to comments on my blog. The next conference call is set for October 9th between 9 and 11am.

If you're interested in this, but you're not in my area, or you don't want to participate in the actual conference call, but you still want to back this up, we could use your support in prayer.

Conferencing

We are having a hard time getting everyone on the phone together at the same time, we've looked into different options, and can't seem to find something that will work. We're believe that God is going to do something miraculous, but we would like you to pray with us.

Unity

We are already seeing an incredible sense of unity, common vision and a common goal. We would like to keep it that way, so prayers for unity would be amazing.

Opposition of the devil

Obviously, God is doing something big, and Satan's getting a little worried. We've run into minor opposition, but "Greater is He who is in us, than he who is in the world!" There is no way Satan is going to stop us, please pray against the attacks of the enemy.

Direction

God appears to have given us pretty clear direction at this point, but pray for a continued sense of direction and pliable hearts for whatever he asks us to do.

Thank you all for your support, whether it's actively participating in The Call or through your prayer.

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen." Ephesisan 3:20-21

The Call

2009-09-26T16:28:00.001-06:00

I'm really excited, because I'm seeing God move in incredible ways, and I'm seeing Him confirm that what I'm seeing is indeed, God.

It started a couple months ago, when my dad took me to a prayer meeting at the church. In all honesty, I didn't want to go, because I had a lot of school to do and I was kind of overwhelmed. However, once I got there, God totally showed up. Our pastor asked us to walk through the chairs and pray for each person who would be sitting in that chair. Of course there are some people who sit in the same chair every week, so he said to pray for that person, if you know who they are. I was praying and suddenly felt the need to go over to the youth section. I started praying for each of the youth by name, if I knew they needed something I prayed for that need, if they didn't, I just prayed that God would bless them. God gave me this love and vision for the youth, He showed me that we're going to explode and have a huge impact. As I was praying, my friend came over to me and told me that he'd had the same vision. We were so excited we had a hard time keeping our voices down.

We both have been praying for this ever since then. The cool thing is, we've seen more evidence of God at work. I have a friend who lives a couple hours away from me who is starting a prayer movement. She has several of her friends involved and God is moving. I have some more friends about three hours away in the opposite direction who are starting a youthgroup and had sixteen kids at their second meeting. God is moving! God has something amazing planned for the youth of Utah, and I can't wait to see what He's going to do.

This Tuesday, the friend I talked to during prayer meeting told me that he did believe God was moving, but that God wanted us to claim it and pray for it. We decided we'd try to set up a conference call for early Saturday morning (today). We had that conference call this morning and had between eight and ten people all praying for this movement. All of us had caught the amazing vision God has given us.

My friend had a really cool idea, He said we should call this movement, 'The Call' because it started with a conference call and we're answering God's call. We're praying for this and we want to be a generation known, not for what we did, but for what God did through us.

If you want more information on The Call or you want be included in our next conference call, let me know by calling, emailing, or facebooking me. We're set for between 9 and 10 oclock on October 3rd.

Let me end with a scripture that is the theme verse for The Call.
2Chronicles 7:14
"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." (KJV)
Let's pray, let's get this land healed, let's see God move! Are you ready, are you excited?

Are you going to answer The Call?

Awesome Love

2009-09-23T21:00:00.001-06:00

I've done several posts on how amazing God is, and for once, I'm going to not do any talking. I'll just direct you to a website, that lays it all out simply. The website was done by a friend of mine, and I think he did an awesome job. So, without further ado, check out Awesome Love

Integrity

2009-09-16T17:43:00.000-06:00

So, I have to say that I totally love youth group. God always uses that time to show up and be awesome again. :D

Last night we talked about integrity. Integrity is kind of a scary word because it implies work on our part. It is being honest, having a balance between whats going on on the inside an what happens on the outside. Integrity is being transparent and real. We read Isaiah 6:1-5 "In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly. And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke.Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts. " (KJV)I've heard this passage probably a thousand times, but yesterday I heard something I hadn't ever thought about. Isaiah said he was undone, meaning he was coming apart or unraveling. Integrity comes from the word integrate meaning to put pieces together in a unified whole. Another word for undone is formed by putting 'dis' in front of integrate, you end up with disintegrate. Itegrity is having things together in unified piece, not having integrity means everything is broken, lost and wrong. Here's another thing, Isaiah said he dwelt among people of unclean lips. Meaning he was like them he had become one of them. Here's how this relates back to integrity, people with integrity, people who call themselves Christians do not spend every waking second with non believers. Being with those kinds of people all the time will have negative effects. With that comes a quote that is seriously life changing "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today... is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is simply what an unbelieving world finds unbelievable." ~DC Talk Ouch! But so, so true. Here's another thought, "Acting like a Christian doesn't mean your an actor or actress pretending to be Christ like. Acting like a Christian means a real, day to day, lived out faith in God." Okay, how about a couple questions? Do you inspire your friends to become Christians? Here's a harder question: Do your friends even know you're a Christian? Finally here's something very interesting, very important, chilling. If being a Christian means acting like Christ and being more like Him, "If you say you're a Christian, but your life denies it, you should stop saying you're a Christian." (Thanks to my youth pastor for teaching such an interesting important message last night)

Youth Group/ God Rocks!

2009-09-09T22:20:00.001-06:00

So, I have to say, I absolutely love my youth group. We have an amazing youth pastor, and amazing group of kids, and most importantly (in my opinion) amazing worship! Yesterday was kind of a stressful day, and school had me kind of stressed out, and I felt really busy and therefore, kind of burnt out. So I was asking for a prayer just to get on fire for God again. We did these to absolutely amazing songs,and God completely showed up and invaded my heart.

The first song is Treasure-Desperation Band

Your breath is like rain
Your word it sustains me
I've come to this place
With intentions of finding You
Your truth is a lamp
Your wisdom my light
I'm seeking Your face
With intentions of finding You
I would run for a thousand years
If I knew every step would be getting me closer
I'd swim to the ocean floor
For my Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure
Holy holy
Holy is the Lord

This was the perfect song for my 'desert spot'. I want to get close to God and this song describes the desperation and the longing for that. I felt so close to God, it was so cool.

The next song is one I've heard a thousand times, but God really spoke to me through it and it really hit me hard.

Heart of Worship-Michael W. Smith

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I love this it's the quiet, the silences the longing to come to God and give Him something that will bless Him. What can we give Him that He doesn't already have?

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Ouch! The point of worship is not the song it's not the lyrics or even the 'good' music. The point is to give God my heart. He's gonna see what's in my heart if I'm doing things for show or if I really want to serve Him and bring Him the sacrifice of praise.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Worship is completely and totally about God, about coming to Him and giving Him everything. It's not a show, or anything else we chose to make it, it's about Him.

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

We humans in our little minds, cannot explain, can't fathom, can't use our limited vocabulary to say how awesome God is. This is admitting that there really isn't much we can give to God besides complete and total surrender, He is soo worth it.

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Free Will

2009-09-03T18:51:00.000-06:00

So, I've always wondered why God put that tree in the middle of Eden. I mean, come on, He knew His kids were gonna sin, so why did He do that? I've heard lots of explanations, but none of them made any sense, I was still confused. Last Sunday, Pastor James said something that made it all clear. He said, it's not love if the responder doesn't have a choice. Love is not forcing someone to love you, they have to be able to say, "I love you too." If they can't say that, it's not love. Everything suddenly clicked it made sense, God didn't want robots, He wanted to be able to say, "I love you." and have us look back at Him and say, "I love you too." He still does that, He sent His son to pay for our sins. He's payed the price, but we can still, in response to His "I love you," say, "I don't love you." This is how cool my God is :D

Deeper

2009-08-27T20:39:00.000-06:00

Deeper. I wanna go Deeper.
No more surface stuff, no more fakeness.
Surrounded. By His overwhelming glory.
Captivated by His overwhelming love.
I'm desperate for Him,I'm tired of settling for the world. It tastes stale anyway. God has so much more than the world has to offer. I'm tired of fake, surface things, I don't want to just 'get my feet wet' NO! I want to plunge into God's love, into a deeper knowledge of Him. I NEED Him.I want to have deep, meaningful discussion with people about God, about His greatness, mercy, compassion and love. NO more surface stuff.

Delirious? Describes my feelings in their song Deeper

want to go deeper
But I don't know how to swim
I want to be meeker
But have you seen this old earth?
I want to fly higher
But these arms won't take me there
I want to be, I want to be

Maybe I could run
Maybe I could fly, to you
Do you feel the same
When all you see is
Blame in me?

And the wonder of it all is that I'm living just to fall
More in love with you [x2]

I want to go deeper
But is it just a stupid whim?
I want to be weaker
Be a help to the strong
I want to run faster
But this old leg won't carry me
I want to be, I want to be

Maybe I could run
Maybe I could fly, to you
Do you feel the same
When all you see is
Blame in me?

And the wonder of it all is that I'm living just to fall
More in love with you [x2]

Maybe I could run
Maybe I could follow
It's time to walk the path
Where many seem to fall
Hold me in your arms
Just like any father would
How long do we have to wait?
How long, we're going all the way

And the wonder of it all is that I'm living just to fall
More in love with you

Continental wrap up part 3

2009-08-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

Another privilege, was seeing my opinions and crazy ideas for teenagers put in action. I’ve always said that given the opportunity and the challenge, being pointed to God, teenagers will accomplish amazing things. The oldest kid on tour was 17, none of us were adults, none of us were particularly ‘skilled’ in the ways of the world, many of were inexperienced, but we still saw many people get saved. Every night at least one person accepted Christ, and teenagers were having this impact. We as teenagers cared about what were doing, each person we counseled was important. Perhaps one of the highest compliments Matt paid us was, “It hasn’t been a good year for sales, it hasn’t been a good year for American Leprosy Missions, it’s been an okay year for recruiting, this tour was sent on the road to save souls. You guys are following God and He’s rewarding you for it.” With our eyes fixed on Jesus we accomplished amazing things. Ironically, while tour definitely did strengthen my faith, I also found myself as my dad would say, ‘so busy doing God’s work that I didn’t have time for God.’ Unfortunately, I wasn’t faithful in reading my Bible, nor was I faithful in prayer. It wasn’t until we had a worship session that I suddenly realized what I was missing, I was missing God. I got so focused on telling other people about their need for God, I forgot about my own need. After that I did what I could to stay connected with God, I used all of the Bible time given (except for the one time I fell asleep, (heheh) and I tried to get back into praying constantly. God is my lifeline and I can’t survive without Him. As amazing as tour was it eventually had to come to an end. Everyone was sad on the last night, just before concert we always had praise and worship, we started singing ‘lean on me’ and some of the kids burst into tears. I had a hard time keeping it together as I looked at each face and remembered how amazing everyone was. We pulled it together, gave our time to God and went out with a bang, I believe it was the best concert we had during the whole tour and that was exactly what I wanted it to be. After doing our various jobs after the concert, we all gathered in the church rec. room, the girls cleaned chords and the boys cleaned the bus. We had a talent show which was pretty hilarious, seeing as a lot of acts were thrown together at the last minute, and the show started at about 11:30 at night. After that we had some share time, everyone sat in a circle and said something nice about the person on their right. I managed to keep from crying, but only barely. After that, they were handing out tissues and one of my friends looked at me and said, “You better take some, you’ll probably cry.” I grinned at him and said, “You’re probably right.” Matthew spoke about how proud he was of the tour, about how impressed he was with what happened, then finally he said, ‘tour has to come to an end sometime.’ It couldn’t end on the bus, because there would be no time to say goodbye, nor could it end at the airport where things would just be crazy. He said we had to have a focus shift, instead of focusing on tour, we needed to focus on life at home, and give everything to God. As a symbol of this, we were to get out of our chairs and sit on the floor, telling God we were ready. That’s when I lost it, I sat in my chair with tears streaming down my face and I told God pitifully, “I can’t. I can’t let go, I can’t go home, I can’t give this to you.” I argued for a while, until finally, I said, “I can’t, but I will anyway.” Then came the time to say goodbye, everyone gave each other hugs and said their last good byes. I couldn’t stop crying, every time someone gave me a hug, every time I saw someone else give someone a hug, I burst into fresh tears. Finally, I got on the bus and pulled myself together, I look back and laugh at myself now, because just as I had everything together, Keith came by and patted me on the back, he didn’t say anything, he just gave me a quick pat on the back and I lost it again. How could I let go of everything I’d experienced in the past five and a half weeks, how could I let go of the friends I was used to seeing every day, nearly twenty four hours a day. But, I got to the airport and suddenly remembered something I’d been planning to do since the beginning of tour, I wanted to witness to my seat mate on the plane. Doing on the way to LAX hadn’t worked, since my seat mate was either sleeping or reading, but I was determined to do it on the way back. So, I found my seat, and settled in, my seat mate commented on how smart it was to bring my pillow. I explained to her that I had been on tour for the past five weeks, and had an over-nighter so I was pretty tired. She asked me what tour was about and I told her. She mentioned seeing a Pentecostal convention and I saw my chance .I asked her if she was Pentecostal, and she said no, she’d been baptized Catholic, but now she basically believed that all roads lead to heaven. While the conversation didn’t go far, and it only lasted fifteen minutes, I was okay with having spoken to her at least a little bit about what I believed. God is definitely after her, because at the end of the trip, the guy on her other side told her that we was reading, “The Case for Christ” and that she should read it. I laughed quietly to myself and reminded myself to pray for her. I got the airport and was overjoyed to meet my siblings, and my mom and my grandma, tour had ended, I was definitely going to miss my friends, but I was ready to go back into normal life.

Continental wrap up part 2

2009-08-17T08:00:00.000-06:00

The next morning we all loaded up into our beautiful bus and hit the road.
God really used this tour to strengthen my faith, one Sunday, as we were getting ready to start the show, Matthew (our director) told us to pray, because our bus was running on empty and we had $2.00 to fill it up. So we all prayed and did the show, we took up our love offering, and proceeded with the show. Later, Matt told us that that was the largest cash donation he’d ever seen in all his years of touring, we had over $800 in cash all together, we raised over $1,000 if that doesn’t show God’s faithfulness, I don’t know what does. Again and again, He showed His faithfulness, we had no housing and we couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel, he provided housing at a school, granted we could have had better housing, but at least we had a roof over our heads. In Idaho, we had hosts for one night, but not the other, again, he provided hosts for every single one of us. As we were driving through Oregon, a logging trucker nearly hit us, but our bus driver, Keith, managed to pull over to the side of the road and keep from getting hit. It was a really scary experience, I watched out the window as the truck looked like it was going to hit us, I prayed probably one of the most pitiful prayers ever, “Oh, God!” Still, God is faithful even when we are pitiful. We escaped that without a scratch and Keith later told us that if that had happened anywhere else, there wouldn’t have been anywhere to pull over. Perhaps the biggest challenge to our faith was when one of the girls got appendicitis. We knew she had a problem before the show, it wasn’t until the middle of it that we found out she had appendicitis and she might have to be flown to Phoenix. “Coincidentally” her parents from Maui, Hawaii, just “happened” to be in Washington and were able to fly down to be with her. Everyone went home that night rather upset, several of the girls were crying. I called my mom and my grandma and asked them to pray, the next morning, she was back and in complete health. There had been several doctors confirming that it was appendicitis, but because of God’s glory, it vanished over night. Another night, one of the girls tearfully asked us to pray for her father who was in the hospital with scoliosis and other problems, apparently this had happened to her father’s father, and the next morning he was dead. Again we prayed, begging God to spare her dad at least until she got home. The next morning, she got a call from him, telling her that he couldn’t wait until she got home so they could play tennis together. It got to the point where I stopped worrying about our problems, and I’d sit back and say, “Okay God, whatcha gonna do this time? I’m ready for you to wow me again.” We saw God work in incredible ways when it came to concerts. After just a month on the road we saw over 120 people get saved. This doesn’t include the prayers that were answered, and the people whose lives were changed, but were too afraid to admit God had touched them. Before tour, I prayed, asking God to allow me to be directly involved in bringing someone to Christ. He answered my question above what I ever could have dreamed, through Him I was given the opportunity to lead 2 young girls, and one elder woman to Him as well as the opportunity to pray for another girl. There is no greater joy than seeing God’s children come home. Tour let me reconfirm the fact that I’m supposed to be a missionary, being on the road and doing a concert every night and seeing God work everyday to bring people to Him is amazing. I know that this is my place in life, this is what I was created to do. What a privilege that God would use me, an over spoken, loudly opinionated, crazy girl to bring people into His loving arms.

Continental wrap up part 1

2009-08-16T19:02:00.002-06:00

Hey All! Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I am indeed home, and I have been since the 9th. I’ve been busy writing research reports and the like, but, here’s the final Continental Update.
It all started with hell week, otherwise known as rehearsal camp. An eight day camp where we put together every aspect of the show from scratch, every song, every dance move, every transition, everything was put together in that one week. I didn’t mind the music sessions, in fact, I could have spent all my time there and been perfectly happy; I loved hearing all the parts come together to create a beautiful sound. It was the choreography sessions I hated, I was already painfully aware of the fact that I can’t dance, and rehearsal camp only made this all the more obvious. It bothered me that it took hours to learn the moves to a single, five minute song.
But, rehearsal camp wasn’t all bad, I enjoyed getting to know people during meals, free time and bus rides between the hotel and the church. Prayer time was the best; it really drew us together as a tour.
Throughout rehearsal camp, I started realizing how different my opinions were from other Christians, my roommates and I discussed several controversial topics. We definitely held different opinions, but I had to learn how to put this aside and say, “Okay, we don’t agree, but we’re sisters in Christ and I’m going to respect you anyway.”
The best night of rehearsal camp was, of course the last night. We had a dress rehearsal followed by a send off. It was a rather different send off; to start with, nobody spoke. We were given instructions on a screen, basically telling us to surrender everything to God, to give Him all our hurts and concerns, to lay everything down at his feet and let Him hold us. This was perhaps the most surprising part for me, because, as I sat their, just basking in God’s presence, he brought up my past. It was strange, because, I’d gotten used to it, gotten used to the major black mark on my record, something which would shame and haunt me constantly. Every time someone mentioned the idea of what I'd done or someone brought up my own incident, I would cringe inwardly, hating the guilt and the pain it dredged up. But, suddenly, God brought it up, and I started telling Him how much it hurt, how much it dragged me down, how much I hated the guilt and the pain, when He told me, “it’s okay, you don’t have to deal with that any more, I’ve forgiven you.” What a relief, I’d already been forgiven by parents and by God, but, I hadn’t been able to forgive myself, I’d been carrying that grief around for four years, not daring to let anyone see how badly it had hurt me. That night, God gave me the ability to forgive myself, to realize that I didn’t have to feel guilty for my past. Learn from it, yes, but mull over it and let it constantly bring me down, no. The past doesn’t have to affect my future. Satan cannot hold that over my head and constantly tell me I’m a failure. Another really cool thing, was that the presence of God was so strong in that room, that people literally started crying, just pouring everything out to God, and if that wasn’t cool enough, thirty kids who had been strangers just eight days ago, rallied around each other to give each other comfort. Everywhere you looked, there were groups of about four or five kids, with their arms draped about each other, praying for each other, comforting each other and worshiping God together. It didn’t matter that we didn’t know anything about each other, what mattered was that we were all unified in our love and devotion to Christ. I think I saw a little glimpse of heaven that night, granted there won’t be any tears, but I do believe perfect strangers will be united in the common goal of glorifying Christ, how exciting!

Young Continental Update 7-29-09

2009-07-29T23:51:00.000-06:00

Greetings from Phoenix Arizona!

I'm having a great time on tour. This is actually the last week. I'll be home on August 3rd.
It has been so fun watching God work and just seeing the impact I'm having on people's lives.
We were in Idaho 2 days ago, it was really fun, because we had and outdoor concert and my family along with my best friend came to see me. We were in Richfield, Utah the next day and that was amazing because we had a full house and eleven people gave their lives to Christ. I got bring one of the older ladies to Him. I feel so privileged to be used by God in such amazing ways. Tonight was really fun, because we again had a full house, and a really responsive audience. The audience was full of teenagers and it was cool to finally be witnessing to people my age, while there weren't as many salvations as I would like, two people did give their lives to Him.

I'm starting to see the reason God sent me on this tour, or rather reasons, plural. He's really strengthened my faith, and my resolve to be a missionary 'when I grow up.' I'm doing what God wants me to do and it's absolutely amazing. It's also interesting seeing the different types of personalities all coming together. I'm learning how to realize that I may not think the same way as some of these other kids, but I can still respect and be friends with them.

I think one of the most simply profound things I've heard was from Rad, he's 13 and kind of crazy, sort of the tour clown. But, he said something that really struck me, he was saying that he didn't really like to sing and dance, so I asked him what he was doing on tour, and he looked me straight in the face and said simply, "It's not about the dancing and the singing, is it? It's about having fun and glorifying God." It's so true, yes, I'm having fun, yes, I love to sing, yes, I'm okay with dancing, but this about touching and changing lives. Seeing teenagers go out and change the world for Him. Through Him, we can accomplish amazing things.

Singing for His Glory,

Eden

Continental Update 7-23-09

2009-07-23T23:02:00.002-06:00

Greetings from Oregon! (I"m not sure of the city right now hehe)

God is still doing amazing things, He never ceases to amaze me. Today
we went to the beach and I had a blast, hearing the waves crash
against the rocks, and hanging out with my friends is so much fun.
Also, the sky was multicolored, and it was just absolutely fabulous.

We had an amazing concert tonight I had a lot of fun. I got to pray
for a little girl in foster care who is really worried about her dad.
I think it's so cool how God is using us as teenagers to make an
impact in people's lives.

A few quick prayer requests
*Safety as we travel to Washington
*We are about $6,000 behind on our payment for our bus, and the money
is due in about 2 days. I know God is going to work in miraculous
ways, but prayer for that will be appreciated.

Thanks all for your prayers!
--
Eden

Continental Update 7-21-09

2009-07-21T23:40:00.000-06:00

Hey all!
Greetings from Albany Oregon!
We had an amazing concert tonight, it was really fun. I'm so excited, because yesterday, I got an opportunity to lead a nine year old to Christ. There is no greater joy than seeing someone come to a saving knowledge of Him. Every night watching the hands go up, I just get so excited, it's so cool to see God work. Yes, I miss my family, and I miss home, but, I like being in the middle of the action, watching God work.
Tomorrow we're going to Northbend. :)
A couple of prayer requests
* My cough is gone. :) So please pray it stays faraway
*This trip is tiring so sometimes it's hard to be energetic
*Closeness for the group
I think that's it... I seem to be forgetting something... Oh well, I'll come home and write a major post.

Singing for His glory,

Eden

Continental Update 7-19-09

2009-07-19T20:53:00.000-06:00

I'm writing this from a lovely home in Canada
We arrived here yesterday and we're going home tomorrow. I'm really enjoying the trip. Canada is really pretty, as are Washington and Oregon. It's so cool to see the beauty God has created wherever we go.

God is definitely changing lives, we see someone come to Christ every night. This morning was special because we saw two grown men accept Christ.

As for myself, God is teaching me all sorts of little things. Well... If you can call faith a little thing. Getting on a bus knowing we're running on an empty tank with no gas money is certainly an interesting experience. Yes, God provided. It's so cool to live life on the edge of my seat, no matter where I turn, no matter what problem I bring Him, He's always faithful. I've gotten past getting worried and now I say, "alright God, whatcha gonna do?"

Well, dinner's ready so. I gotta run,

Singing for His glory
Eden

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

2nd Week of Young Continentals

2009-07-11T10:28:00.002-06:00

Hey!
I'm having a great time here in California. We had a concert in Lancaster yesterday, and it was okay. Today, we had a lot of fun in Fresno, with an opportunity to perform in a Piano store. It was so cool to see all those beautiful pianos. I think we had a good show and things went really well.

A couple of prayer points

I would still like to personally lead someone to Christ
And it would be nice to have more American Leprosy Donations.

I'm still having a ton of fun, and enjoying every minute of tour.

To God be the glory,
Eden

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Young Continental's Itinerary

2009-07-10T22:16:00.000-06:00

There may be other concerts that will happen but this is the schedule so far. I would double check with the location if you want to come see a concert.

July 10 at 7pm.
Fresno Piano Center 4254 N. Fresno St Fresno,CA 559-226-0793

July 12 at 9:30am
New Life Community Church 750 Yosemite Dr. Ukiah,CA 707-468-9251

July 13 at 7pm
Mountain Chapel Assembly of God 3 Oakridge Dr. Weaverville, CA 530-623-3933

July 14 at7pm
Community Bible Church 500 N. 10th St. Central Point, OR 541-664-5576

July 15 at 7pm
New Harvest 4290 Portland Rd. Salem, OR 503-763-6911

July 16 at 7pm
Calvary Baptist Church 324 Avon Ave Burlington, WA 360-755-0671

July 19 at 10:15am
Evangelical Free Church 132 8th St. Kamloops, BC Canada 250-376-9365

July 20 at 7pm
Sonlight Community Church 8800 Bender Rd. Lynden, WA 360-354-3434

July 21 at 7pm
Calvary Baptist Church 800 34th Ave SE Albany, OR 541-926-5662

July 22 at 7pm
Hauser Community Church 69411 Wildwood Rd. North Bend, OR 541-756-2591

July 23
First Assembly of God 47949 Hwy 58 Oakridge, OR 541-782-2342

July 24 at 6:30 pm
Kennewick Church of the Nazarene 2402 S. Union Kennewick, WA 509-783-8774

July 27 at 7pm
Assembly of God 110 N. 300 E. Richfield, UT 435-896-6464

July 28 at 7am
Calvary Community Church 210 N. Anderson ST. Overton, Nevada 702-397-8028

July 29 at 7pm
Calvary Community Church 12612 N. Black Canyon Phoenix, AZ 601-973-4768

July 30 at 7pm
First United Methodist Church 101 E. Hillview St. Winslow AZ 928-289-4302

July 31 at 7pm
First Assembly of God 1850 Gates St. Kingman, AZ 928-753-3529

August 1 at 6pm
Praise Temple Fellowship 10455 Corporate Dr. Redlands,CA 909-824-5612

August 2 at 8:30am, 10:30am and 6:00pm
New Life Chapel 10184 7th Ave. Hesperia, CA 760-244-9050

The first week of the Young Continentals Tour

2009-07-07T08:12:00.000-06:00

Hey all!
Tour has been so amazing, I'm really having a great time.

I showed up on Saturday and then on Sunday, we had a worship service on the beach. It was so amazing having all these great people worshiping and loving God together. I had so much fun just basking in his glory. The rest of the week was a whirlwind of choreography, singing and craziness. There were times when I didn't want to get up, but somehow we pushed through it, and we're having a lot of fun

While I didn't get a solo, I'm a representative for ALM (American Leprosy Missions) I get to get up and there and bring hope to a hurting world.

Perhaps the best thing is how God has just showed up again and again and again. Just before I left, He gave me a double rainbow and helped me through a crazy 'ketchup' week. God absolutely Rocks, and it's so cool to see Him work. He has brought all thirty of us together, in such an amazing way, after six days, we're all family.

Singing for His glory.

One week

2009-06-20T22:36:00.002-06:00

This is a copy of the letter I sent to my sponsors :) with a few edits for blogger purposes

Dear Sponsor,

In a little over a month, I will be in California rehearsing for the Continental Singers. I’m very excited at the prospect of traveling up the west coast into Vancouver, BC, Canada. I even have a chance to present a show here in my home state of Utah. I can’t wait to make new friends, travel the United states, do drama, hip hop and singing, but perhaps what excites me most is bringing the love of God to hurting world.

Of course I would not be able to do any of this without your generous support. It is because of you and your donations that my dream has become reality. I cannot thank you enough.

While I am very grateful for these financial gifts, because they are sending me on my tour, I would like to ask for spiritual support which is, in a word: prayer.

You can pray for me in the areas of:

* Health- I need to be in good physical and spiritual health before, during and after the trip

* Faith- I’m expecting God to do something amazing, I do not want to come back from this trip without a deeper relationship with Him

* Salvation of others- Again, the main goal of this trip is to bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, please pray that many will come to know him through our work.

If you would like to receive updates on my trip by email, please email me, or, if you prefer, feel free to check out my blog between the dates of July 6th and August 2nd.

Thank you so much for giving me the chance to do what I love most: sing, act, dance, and spread the Gospel message.

Singing for His glory,

History Maker

One year

2009-06-08T21:22:00.000-06:00

My family and I went to California Adventure recently. My favorite ride had to be the California Screamin'. God really blessed us with that ride, we thought we were in the line for that ride, only to find out way too late, that we'd waited in line over an hour for the wrong ride. However, my brother and I got on the California Screamin' within five minutes. As I already mentioned, it was my favorite ride. My brother screamed through the whole thing. While it was really fun, it only lasted about 2 minutes and 34 seconds.

I feel like life is coming at me a hundred miles an hour, my best friend graduated, and I'm only one year behind her. A hundred thousand thoughts are going through my head, I've only got one year, what can I do with it? How can I make the best use of my time? What do I want to do with this year? What's really important?

I think I kind of got my answer to that question at church on Sunday. Pastor James said that we needed to make disciples, live a life that will point people to Jesus. That's what I'm going to do with my life, that's what I'm going to do with this one year. I'm going to leave a lasting impression on my friends and family. I'm going to chase Jesus with all I have, I'm gonna follow that quote, "A woman should be so lost in God that a man should have to seek Him in order to find her." I want to be lost in God, I want people to know what I believe, why I believe it, and how they can believe it.

So what does all this have to do with the California screamin'? Everything. See, so many people find out too late their in the wrong life, they wanted to change the world, they wanted to make a difference, but they let life pass them by. I'm in the right line, but life comes so fast, it feels like it only lasts about 2 and half minutes. It's so eventful, so crazy, I have to do something with it, I can't let it go by, this year is going to be eventful, it has to be, I'm not going to let it go by.

Life's too short to waste, I gotta make it count.

One life to love bye 33 miles

He never thought he cared so much about the minute hand
Until he started praying for, a second chance
He never thought he cared so much about the minute hand,
Until he started playing for a second chance,
If he could only do it all again,
He'd trade the long nights that he spent behind his desk,
For all he missed,
He tells his wife,
I wish that this moment in this room, was not me dying,
But just spending a little time with you

You only get just one time around,
You only get one shot at this,
One chance,
To find out,
The one thing that you don't wanna miss,
One day when its all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough,
This one ride,
One try,
One life,
To love.

She never thought she cared so much about those little hands,
That held on tight the day she left,
Til she was scared to death,
Sitting all alone on a hotel bed,
The end of the road,
The sun has set on her big plans,
To feel young again,
She picks up the phone,
Dials the number,
Hears that little voice,
That's haunted every single mile,
Since she made that choice,

You only get just one time around,
You only get one shot at this,
One chance,
To find out,
The one thing that you don't wanna miss,
One day when its all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough,
This one ride,
One try,
One life,
To love.

You only get just one time around,
You only get one shot at this,
One chance,
To find out the one thing
That you don't wanna miss,
One day when its all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough,
This one ride,
One try,
One life,
One ride,
One try,
One life,
To love,
To love,

Someday... again

2009-06-04T21:58:00.000-06:00

I should take my own advice. It's crazy how God puts something on my mind. I was at Iceberg today, and I'd purposefully put Million dollar bills in my purse, kinda hoping that maybe I'd get a chance to evangelize. We went to Iceberg and there was this really nice family with cute kids. I had no problem telling them they had cute kids, but when I thought about the million dollar bills, I came up with a thousand and one excuses. I didn't even necessarily have to give them a million dollar bill, I could have just had a five minute conversation... *sigh* Shame on me, I think this is why my friend, Levi has come up with a great idea, National Soul Winning Month. This giv4es you a drive to witness. No more somedays, gotta break outta this habit.
God please help me, can't do this by myself.

Someday No More

2009-06-03T21:30:00.002-06:00

Someday, I’m going to change the world. Someday, I’m going to witness. Someday, I’ll talk to that lonely person. Someday, I’ll do what God wants me to do. Someday, someday, someday…

It seems that ‘someday’ is a word we use a lot. Whether we’re dreaming about doing something, or we’re planning something, or, the list goes on and on. The problem with the word ‘someday’ is that it gives us an excuse to not do something; it gives us an excuse to procrastinate. I honestly wonder what would happen if I’d acted on all my somedays today. I can’t keep saying “someday” if I do, I’ll never get anything done.

In the words of Press Play

“I’ve got only one life, to make my dreams reality
All my tomorrows, are in my face, they’re haunting me.
I’m sorry, I ever let a day go by
I’m sorry, for ever saying, this simple lie: Someday.

When my life is over,
I review my own review,
The meaning of my life
No regrets, no questions why
No sorrys for all the things I could have made
No sorrys, I did it all, I didn’t say: Someday.

I’ve got one life, to live this life
I’ve got one try to get it right
I’ve got one chance to change a life
I’ve got one life, one life.
My somedays have come and gone
My somedays before me now,
My today’s why I’m alive.
I’ve got one life, one life.

This is that moment,
To push through these, unopened doors
While my heart is beating
Life can’t pass me by no more

My someday, it’s not a wish or make believe
No someday, yesterday is waiting for me.

I’ve got one life to live this life
I’ve got one try to get it right.
I’ve got one chance to change a life,
I’ve got one life, one life.
My somedays have come and gone
My somedays before me now
My today’s why I’m alive.
I’ve got one life, one life.

I’ve got one life to live this life
I’ve got one chance to get it right.
I’ve got one chance to change a life.
I’ve got one life, one life.
My somedays have come and gone
My somedays before me now,
My today’s why I’m alive.
I’ve got one life, one life.
I’ve got one life, one life.
I’ve got one life, one life.”

The End

2009-05-31T13:27:00.000-06:00

I can't believe we're on our way back home. I'm literally writing this in the car. This week has been absolutely amazing. I was expecting great things, but not as awesome as it turned out. The Bible doesn't lie, "He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond, all that we can ask or imagine." (The Message) It's so true. We started the week with a kick off session at the convention center. As I said, I ran into Mr. Larkin, the president of Ignite. I was really excited to see him, and he was really friendly. After worship, they talked about empowering the next generation to take over the world. This excited me immensely, because this has been my passion for a long time. Then we had a worship service with Press Play, an amazing Christian Rock Band, I think I have some new favorite songs now.

That's part of what made this week so awesome. All the worship, worship in the morning, worship at night. Worship all the time. God inhabits the praises of His people, He really does. He will meet you wherever you are.

The next day we toured Life Pacific College, and I was so impressed. God totally showed me, that this is where He wants me. My parents told me, that it would be academically challenging, and my brother asked me if I still wanted to go. I told him, "It doesn't matter what I want, this is where God wants me." A quote I absolutely love, is "If He brings you to it, He'll lead you through it." I can't wait to see what God is going to do, when by faith, I get into the Ignite program.

I met a ton of new people, because we toured the dream center, and drove down to The Rock church. They separated the kids into three groups, and my group was the best. I've met some amazing people. Two of them are planning on going to Life Pacific College. Another is going into the Ignite program. I love how God was getting my attention, putting me with people who were excited about Life.

God has provided for us here. The youth program fed us three meals, we got into Disneyland and California Adventure absolutely free, something that would have cost us $600. He gave us friends, and He gave me a passion and an excitement for what He wants me to do. I guess the best way to describe this week is.

PTL Praise The Lord!

Foursquare Convention day 1&2/Life/Ignite/?

2009-05-27T23:59:00.000-06:00

I want to do something with my life, I want to change the world. I want to bring people to Christ. I want to touch and help the hurting. I want to see teenagers take over the world! Last night was the first session of Convention, they had a big focus on the youth. They kept talking about how we are the next generation, how we are going to take over the world. It was so exciting to finally see someone moving in that direction. So that was the first night, so incredibly amazing.

K... Some of you might know that I was seriously considering graduating early. As in next year. Yeah. Scary. So, I thought I wanted to go to Ignite and then transfer to Life Pacific College. I really thought I wanted to do this and go for it, but there was a part of me that was scared out of my mind. Like it's so scary to even be considering leaving. Especially now that my life is almost on "fast forward." I've always wanted to "get the heck out of here" But now, that I'm being given the opportunity to do that.... I don't know what to think.

God is so awesome. He really is, I walked into Convention Monday night and who did I run into, but Mr. Larkin, the President of Ignite. He was excited to see me, and I really liked him. The next morning I went to Morning prayer and I found the verse in the bible "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of courage and a sound mind." You know what else I found? "Puruse anything that makes you want to do right" I was soo excited like, I felt like God was telling me, pursue Ignite, pursue this dream, because it makes you want to do right! By "coincidence" I ran into Mr. Larkin that Morning, I saw him again later when I was touring Life Pacific College. Ignite had a booth at the concert I went to Last night. God is awesome! He has shonw me in soo many ways what He wants me to do.

Being here in Cali is so awesome a time to get away and get up early and stay up late, and seriously spend time with God. I love worship, fount out about new band called Press Play and they are amazing, they are donating all their funds from the sale of the CD to the Dream Center. It is sooo awesome!

I'm so excited, so hyper, so tired, soo... I can't explain it. It's like... I've had an encounter with God and I've seen Him be so incredibly faithful....
I guess I'll end this long, rambling post with a song by Press Play. Yes, it's paraphrased, sadly, I can't remember all the words, but here they are as well as I remember them. God Rocks!

You see,
see in me what I can't see
Believe in me
In my unbelief.

You make the angels stand and sing,
You make heavenly melodies
You make my life forever free
You know I love you,
You know I love you.

You hear me when no one can hear
my cry for my rescue

The clouds open up
and the world sees a savior!

Convention part ???

2009-05-24T22:40:00.001-06:00

So, Convention doesn't really start 'till tomororw, but we went to church today, and I have to say, it was pretty cool. Pastor Rick talked about trusting God and realising that He will do what He said He would. He said God keeps His promises, we need to hang on to them. The church needed a new building and they had to put the airconditioning in, they didn't really have enough money to pay for it, they prayed about it and God sent them someone who gave them a half a million dollar air conditioner, for free. All this to say, God is really awesome, He knows what we need when we need it. He is a good God and He will give us what we need. We need to trust Him.

Foursquare Convention

2009-05-22T18:18:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow My family and I are going to California for a Foursquare Pastor's Convention. I can't wait, my parents went last year and they brought back some amazing videos. This year, I get to be part of the action. :)Perhaps the biggest thing is that I'm going to be touring the college that I'm thinking about going to next year. It'll be a time of prayer, and I really hope God shows up in an amazing way. Actually, scrap the 'hope' I *know* he will :D

Questioning

2009-05-20T22:08:00.000-06:00

I was talking to a few of my friends about this and it seems we have come to the same conclusion, Questioning your faith is a good thing. *gasp* Did I just say that? Surely I didn't. Actually... I did. Now before you yell at me, hear me through. I think the reason wrestling with your faith is a good thing, is because it's sort of an iron sharpening iron, somehow you get to make your faith your own. Perhaps one of the best question you can ask yourself is, "Why do I believe this?" Followed closely by, "Can I defend this belief?" There was one time in my life where I was questioning God's existence, not too seriously, but there was a part of me that thought, what if what I've been taught all my life isn't true? I mean, after all people from other religions claim they've felt God. But, God has showed himself to me so powerfully, it's really cool :) So, what's my point? Why do you believe what you believe?

Walking the Earth

2009-05-17T15:04:00.000-06:00

The last thing my pastor said in church today was, "Jesus walked this earth and touched people with flesh and blood hands, I think He still wants to do that today." Those words really hit me, I already knew and agreed with the statement, but it was realizing that we can talk to people all we want, but sometimes we should walk the talk, and physically help the hurting and the lost.

This might hurt

2009-05-12T12:29:00.000-06:00

A little while a go I shared about surrender, I said it was painful, and hard. I was listening to the radio yesterday and I heard this song, that captured everything I was trying to say. I've heard it before and it's a pretty simple song, but I think the words say what I was trying to say.

The Motions ~ Matthew West

This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

The first line, "This might hurt" I like how Matthew West talks about the fact that opening yourself up, and surrendering could be painful. But he talks about how it will be good, regardless of the pain. "Cause just okay is not enough." *sigh* That's something I really need to learn.

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything?" Ouch! This is kind of a prayer I've had for a while, I don't want to end up old and toothless wondering what happened to my youth and why I didn't do anything with it.

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

The beauty of giving into God, is that He will support you, when you fall, He picks you up, giving into Him is ultimately the best thing you can ever do.

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

All the way, not part of the way, because "just okay is not enough"

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:30:00.000-06:00

As you are probably aware, today is mother's day. I realize it's a bit late, but I've been hanging with my mommy and my Grandma, so it's okay. Today and really a lot lately, I've realized how perfectly awesome my mommy is. She loves God, My daddy, my family, and me, she's really pretty, she's smart, she's talented, the list goes on. My mom has really showed me how much she cares about me lately. I knew that she really loved me, but she's been giving me more freedom, she's backing up some insane, -yet God given- decisions, I'm making, she's spending time with me. I really can't say enough how amazing my mommy is.

Mother, I want to tell you just how much I love you
Mommy, I appreciate everything you do,
Mom, you are amazing, and really pretty too,
Ma, it's fun to tell ppl, I got my looks from you.
Mumsy, I really love you, I can't say it enough
Thanks for being my mommy.

I love you :)

Blood and Names

2009-05-06T19:37:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about a few things lately. At church on Sunday we were singing a lot about the name of Jesus. I think there's a lot of power in the name of Jesus. If you think about it, when people swear, the don't say, "Oh Buddha," or "Oh Mohammed," Why? Because 'Jesus' is the only name with real power in it. Even the Bible says there's something special about that name "for, Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Romans 10:13 NIV) It doesn't simply say "call on the Lord," but rather, "call on the name Jesus name has power.

Secondly there's a song that says, "What can wash us pure as snow?... Nothing but the blood of Jesus." And I was thinking, why did it take blood? Why couldn't God have just gone, "wham" you're saved? Why did it take such a drastic, horrible, bloody death? I think, and this is simply thinking out loud, I'm not gonna swear by it. But the penalty of sin is death. So, Jesus had to die in order for us to be saved. I think that there had to be something that only Jesus could do. Coming back from the dead after 3 days is obviously supernatural. I think also, that it shows God's love, He was willing to put His only son through terrible torture, so he could be reunited with us. If *you* were the only person left on the face of this earth, He *still* would have died for

You

Church

2009-05-04T15:45:00.000-06:00

Church was absolutely awesome today. God really showed up.

There was a question that one of the pastors asked and I found it interesting and frustrating all at the same time, "Do you trust God enough to do what He promised to do?" It's such a simple question, but it has such complex answers. I think God's trying to tell me something here. I know He can be trusted, really I do...

An interesting quote, "A car that's not moving is hard to steer." ~Bob Mumford, basically, God wants to do amazing things with us, but it's kind of hard to do anything with someone who's really stubborn and refuses to go anywhere.

The basic point of the sermon today was "God's top priority is people" so with that, some excellent points were made.

Even as Jesus was dying one of the most excruciating deaths in history, He was worried about people If you think about it, He made sure someone was going to look out for His mother. He promised to take a thief into heaven, and He forgave the crowd that was mocking Him. Really, His death was focused on people, He died to reconcile them with Christ.

Jesus told parables and at one point He told three back to back, The parable of the Lost sheep, The lost coin and the lost son. There was obviously a theme there: the lost. Jesus realized that Hell was a bad place he even went so far as to say "if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you." (Matthew 8:19) He knew that it would be better for you to get to heaven missing an eye then to go to hell and have both eyes. In essence He was saying "Hell is a bad place, miss it at all costs." As believers, we know that we're going to miss Hell, it is our job to make sure that other people don't end up there.

Only people last forever, they are what really matter When you get to heaven you wont take your Ferrari, you won't take your stocks, you won't take your job, you won't take your 50" wide screen tv, you won't take your mac. The only thing that will move from this earth is people, we need to do what we can to make sure they get to heaven.

Along these lines, People are more important then my item of business, or, what I'm doing with people should not become more important the the people themselves. If you're going to settle something with a person the person is more important than your business. I personally am guilty of doing this, because I desperately want to save my friends from the reality of Hell, but sometimes I get so wrapped up in proving I'm right that I forgot I'm talking to a person.

Jesus didn't see what people where, but rather what they could be This one absolutely blows my mind. That's so awesome. God could take a thief, turn him around and have him give one fourth of his income away. The point is

sin does not cause God any problems. He's bigger than sin, He doesn't care who you are or where you've been, it goes back to the last point, He doesn't focus on who you are, but rather who you're going to become.

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Trust

2009-05-01T18:05:00.000-06:00

I shared earlier Joshua 1:9, I also shared that I wasn't sure why God had given me that verse. It wasn't until my family had an impromptu worship service that I realized why this verse was sticking with me. One of the songs we were singing has a line I'm ready now, do what You will. I've pretty much made a decision that will drastically change my academic career. It's almost a crazy idea, while I'm really excited about it, there is a a part of me that's hesitant a little part of me that's kinda nervous. I think God is giving me the go ahead, He's given me a lot of things that seem to confirm this decision. He's telling me to trust Him, He knows what's going to happen and it's all under control. The best place to be is in the center of His will, right now, that's where I'm at, and I'm not leaving any time soon.

Talk For Your Life

2009-04-29T22:21:00.000-06:00

I have a friend and he's pretty cool, he has a heart for God, and he likes to evangelize. So, he's put together a really cool site focusing on this it's called Talk For your Life and it has some of the most important information you'll ever come across in your life. So, check out Andrew Biddinger's Site I think you'll find it pretty cool, while your at it, check out a similar site, run by Levi B. While I'm referring sites, I might as well talk about one other friend, who's actually Andrew's younger brother, JJ tends to post amusing things, so when you're done reading serious stuff check out The Phenomenal Blog of J.J. (For the King)

Enjoy!

Be of good Courage

2009-04-27T21:13:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I woke up with a specific verse reference in my head, now that's not really amazing for some people, but, seeing as I can never remember where anything is in the Bible, I was pretty excited. The reference was Joshua 1:9 "This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I'm still not 100% sure why God gave me that, but I remember reading it and being filled with joy, I'm trying to memorize that, just because it's such an awesome promise from God, He's with me wherever I go :)

Taking over the world, Conclusoin

2009-04-25T09:01:00.000-06:00

No pastors in their 20s? What’s the matter with us? We have to stand up, we have to get moving, and something must be done! So now, maybe you’re thinking that, well, the next generation will do it, or we might not actually be the last generation. Two things, if we wait around for the next generation, things are going to get worse, what are we going to do? Sit around on our tushes all day and do nothing? Secondly, we may not be the last generation, there may be generations coming after us, but guys, whether we like it our not we are our last generation. This is our last chance to do something the bible, says, “the crown of the youth is his energy.” Let’s get up, get moving and take over the world. We cannot wait until we’re old, teens, we are the next generation, and we’re the ones who are going to be moving into jobs, some of us will grow up and run the country. We have to wake up and get working now, we need to get prepared for our jobs. Do you want to die and nobody miss you? Do you want to be among the thousands who have died and never did anything? Preposterous! As teenagers we have boundless energy, but so often we use it in the wrong way, what would happen if we used it to build each other up, spread the gospel, touch lives, live for God? The world would be turned upside down! Things would greatly improve. I believe we are the next generation and God has big plans for us, but, here’s a question, are you going to answer the call? Or are you going to sit there, do nothing, and let the world pass you by? God doesn’t drag people into doing what He wants them to do. If you won’t let yourself be used by Him, you can rest assured that He will find someone else.

I hope some of what I’ve said has made in impact on you. Hopefully, as adults, I’ve changed your view of teenagers, or at least challenged you to keep your eyes open for responsible ones, and to help them, through life. I hope, teenagers that God has tugged on your heart, that you’re saying, yes, that is what I should be doing, I’m tired of sitting around on my tush doing nothing. I hope that together, as a team, adults and teenagers, we can take over the world and turn it upside down for the glory of His kingdom. Are you with me?

Taking over the world part 3

2009-04-24T11:50:00.000-06:00

Teenagers

Okay, if you skipped the parent section, please go back and read it, I’m going to go through some points from that section, so I’d like you to know what I’m talking about. Going back to adults not believing in us, as I said earlier, I have run into many people who don’t think teenagers can do anything. The world as a whole has set an incredibly low standard for us and it’s tempting to sink to that level. But, here’s a question, if we are consistently sinking to a low level, and not doing anything to change it, do we not deserve our reputation? If we’re not doing anything noteworthy, if we are sinking to low standards, then, we are proving that we are in-fact, worthy, and deserving of our name. I know, it seems like the world is against us, but we can’t use that as an excuse, we can’t say, “no one will notice, nobody cares, it won’t change anything.” No! With that kind of attitude, we are sinking to the low standards, while it would be nice to have adults to back us, and our performance will be better with them standing by, we do not necessarily need them to start bucking the world’s standards. If we want adults to believe in us, then we need to prove that we are worthy of their trust. Can we get our rooms clean, and get our chores done without them asking? How’s this, with a good attitude? You may be laughing now, you may say, but that’s so simple. Is it? Are you getting those things done? I think the best way this generation can regain the older generation’s trust, is to do the little, mundane things, when we have those down, we can rise up and do larger things, like starting The Rebelution and LC2LC. But we have to start with the little things, heck if I can’t clean my room, how on earth am I supposed to lead an organization? A really big one we can do is respect our parents, they spend their time pouring into and loving us, and more often than not, we take their care for granted, and act like we deserve it. We need to respect our parents, and they in turn will respect us. A really big thing is attitude and living things out in daily life, having an attitude of servitude, an attitude of willingness to do the right thing. Sound crazy? It is crazy, people who break the mold are often laughed at, but, if we let that stop us nothing will be accomplished. Another thing, if we attempt to accomplish this by ourselves, we will fail and it will be just a crazy idea. But, if we submit our will to God and our parents, amazing things will happen, just imagine what would happen if every morning we woke up and said, “God, I’m going to serve and love you today.” If we just lived our lives to please God the world would be turned upside down! Friends, this is what I’m talking about, this is what I want to see, this generation has to band together and do something. Enough sitting around, let’s get moving, and start changing the world. Pastor Robert Flores said something that should be a challenge to us, he said, “The average age for a pastor, is 53, pastors in their 30s are rare, pastors in their 20s are non-existent.” Teens, this should not be! We’re letting older people, people who should be able to retire, wear themselves out.

Taking over the World part 2

2009-04-23T19:20:00.000-06:00

Note, if you haven't read the first two parts of this article, please take the time to go back and reread them

Parents, please speak positively about your children, if you have children that are on the verge of becoming teenagers, talk about how excited you are for them to become young adults. Let them know that the standards you have set for them thus far aren't changing and in fact, the standard will be raised.Give them something to reach for, inspire them to do better. I have grown up in a supportive family such as that, and while I don’t wish to brag about myself people have said that they notice a difference in me. I don’t pretend for a minute, that I have the sole credit for this; rather my parents deserve 95% of it. Some of you teenagers are probably shaking your heads going, “that’s not true, we don’t need adults.” Yes, we do! We desperately, urgently, frantically need them, we want to take over the world and we want to make a difference, but, how can we change things when we don’t know how? How can we touch the world, when we haven’t been touched? Some of you may have heard of Alex and Brett Harris, they are two teenagers who started The Rebelution in their early teens. (For those of you who don’t know, The Rebelution is basically “rebelling against rebellion and the low standards the world has set for teens.”) They have also put out a book called Do Hard Things it’s a very popular book, because they inspire teens to “do hard things” and live above the standards of this world. But, you know what? The Harris twins would not be where they are today if someone hadn’t supported them; they went to work in a political office helping one of the politicians, running campaigns, doing odd jobs, eventually even editing his speeches. They are where they are today because somebody gave them a chance to prove themselves. And that’s another thing, teenagers, when given the chance will prove themselves able. Think of Loose Change to Loosen Chains(LC2LC), Dollar for a Drink, Abort 73, all of these are good, solid, Christian organizations run by teenagers. Adults we can step up to the plate, we can take over the world, all we need is for you to believe in us. All we need is for you to give us the chance, all we need is for you to get behind us and teach us, show us, raise the bar, and expect us to be responsible. Please give us chores, give us responsibilities, jobs and requirements, we are desperate to reach those goals, we want to please you, but sometimes we don’t know how, or we aren’t given the opportunity. As a representative of my generation, I send out a cry for help, a cry for justice, a cry for you to touch the next generation, to believe in us, give us a chance to change the world, and reach our full potential in Christ.

History Maker

Get Real!

Active Trust

Dreaming of New Things

His Mercies...

Silence

Further In

Because He longs to Bless/Thankful Hearts

Hope

Letter from God

Growing Up

Valentine's Day

Beautiful

Father's Eyes

Hold Your Breath

The Point

Love Wins

Devastate

Running into Daddy's Arms

Daddy's Voice

Putting God first and *surrender*

Let *MY* love define you

Fragile

Crying out from the Inside out

Seashells and Starfish

Daddy's little Girl

Broken

A woman's place

Summer Camp Part 2

Summer Camp Part 1

You're a Christian? So what!?

Freedom

Take a Look at the Ocean

Simple Answer

Remember

For Such a Time as This

A Commitment to Purity

Expectation

Lifestyle Evangelism

Friendship Evangelism

Ramblings of a High School Graduate

"Taste and see"

*sigh of relief*

The Great Uniter

NEVER!

Do You Trust Me?

Friendship

Snow Camp Wrap up

Snow Camp Part 3

Snow Camp Part 2

Snow Camp Part 1

Healing and "heavenly coincidences"

God of the "Small" Things

Merry Christmas!

The Christian Life

Forever Love

Stereotypical

Where/How I am, right now= P-R-I-D-E

I love my job!

Twisted Thoughts

Broken Record??????

Are you DARING?

Bible Study

The Call 3rd Week

The Call 2nd week

The Call

Awesome Love

Integrity

Youth Group/ God Rocks!

Free Will

Deeper

Continental wrap up part 3

Continental wrap up part 2

Continental wrap up part 1

Young Continental Update 7-29-09

Continental Update 7-23-09

Continental Update 7-21-09

Continental Update 7-19-09

2nd Week of Young Continentals

Young Continental's Itinerary

Putting God first and surrender

Let MY love define you

sigh of relief